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August 11, 2005 - Thursday
Theres a Spider in my Room......And i cant sleep because of it...
Current mood: depressed
I cant. Its 4:30 am. I was just going to bed when this big spider crawled across my cealing. I dont kill spiders, i just let them be, but the little fucker had to jump down on my poster above my head, then he had to fall behind my bed. NOW THAT I KNOW he's around my bed, I CANT SLEEP! I have fucked up dreams as it is, and i havent had a good night sleep for a couple of months now, so a Spider crawling around my bed in the middle of the night dose not help.
So..Im up, on MYSPACE, looking on as i waste my life ever so...
I had a converastion with my Grandfather today...It delt with the fact that my mother dosnt have a grip when it comes to SMART financial endveors..... Like paying bills.
I've gone over this before...My mom bitches at me about the bills that we have no money to pay...That every time i buy a dvd for my self, that im wasting my money that should be going to other things (mostly she wants to make sure that I have money so she could borrow from me when she dosnt have enought to cover the bills.) Yet, I give her $100 dollars out of every check i get, ITS SUPPOSE to go to car insurance, but Im only suppose to pay that every 2 months (its 200 every 2 months) Yet, Im Forking over a quarter of my check every pay day. Im only making between $350 - $425 per check. After gas and other bills, that really dosnt leave me with a lot to go on for the next 2 weeks. But my younger brother, who also drives, but hasnt paid for car insurance in almost a year and a half now, has a job that pays him about $650 take home! thats every 2 weeks also... But she dosent collect from him, and the 1 time she did, HE BITCHED for a fucking Week about it, and BORROWED money from ME!! (which i never got back, and if I ever need to borrow money, its only about 5 bucks, THATS IT!) And he can go out and BUY a NEW Fucking guitar, but i buy one dvd and my ass is in a ringer.
Anyway, My grandfather was getting on me getting a new job, which segwayed in to DOING something with my life. Get a carrer or something...
Now my whole family knows what i want to do... Its make movies for a living... ITs all i really fucking know! That and usuless pop culture shit.
And when i reinerate this fact, he kinda yells at me! Why? Because i've been out of school for 3 years now, i've been doing the same thing since i got out, which is Work at the theater and hang out either at my friends house or sleep.
I can see where he's coming from... I've been talking about making movies since i was in 7th grade.... Its all i really want to do! But the fucking problem is i have no $$$ and no FUCKING ACTORS!!! which is another problem. Hell, untill the end of 10th grade, i had planned on going to film school, but then i found out how UNGODLY expensive it is and that by reading the works of ROBERT RODRIGUZ, I should just go make my own fucking movie outside of the studio system. And thats been my plan ever since.... But Im going to be 22 soon, i'll be working the same JOB for almost 6 years now, and my grandfather said it perfectly, "IF i dont watch myself, i'll wake up one day and i'll realize im 43 and have really done nothing with my life!" And he's right...In fact thats one of my Greatest fears... Just fucking wasting away my life! I've seen it happen to people, and its a fucking path i DO not want to go down.
But i've looked at what i've done over the last 3 years since HS, and all ive done is gotten FATTER and Lazier and havent done JACK SHIT!
Fuck, I've lowered my self to a point i had hoped i wouldnt of gone to when i was in HS. When i was 16, i figured i'd have shit figured out a little better by the time i got to be 22. I'd have started a movie already, I'd be on my own, i'd have a better social life, FUCK i'd thought i'd would of gotten LAID by now... But I'm basicly still the same annoying FUCK that i was in HIGH SCHOOL, except im not in HS anymore and i really dont have that many excused for being this way.
My financial situation is ass right now, and COULD be fixed. Not nessisarly by getting a better paying job, mostly because all of the better paying jobs require me to work A HELL OF A LOT MORE HOURS than i really can afford to, but that my car sucks and i dont have the $$$ to fix it because its all going to gas and my MOM!! If i had my car in MY NAME, i'd have my insurance straightend out, and i'd have a little more money every month! My mom NEEDS to change our Cell phone plan, as we're getting charged UP THE ASS for dumb reasons that could easly be taken care of... And i could cut back on the spending a little ( i eat out WAY to fucking much.. Thats what is killing my account, FAST FOOD...Not DVD's, NOT COMICS, FAST FUCKING FOOD)
As for my film carrer. I have all of the techniqle shit in place.. .I have a High Powerd Camera, a computer for editing, its just getting actors for my projects and some extra fuding is what's preventing me... If i can get this Documentery off of the ground, it'll be the first step in the right direction.
Cause i DO NOT want to end up 43, living at home... STILL havent gotten laid... Because if i end up like that... I might as well just puf a fucking BULLET to my FUCKING loser head.
I think too much at night
August 7, 2005 - Sunday
Proper Movie Ediquite FUCKERS!
Current mood: annoyed
I have worked at a movie theater for 5 years now. Im a movie fan. I attend a movie at least 3 times a month when i can. So im a little irritaeted when people dont follow the proper movie ediquite. There are rules to follow fuckers! Simple, but important rules....
RULES for MOVIE GOING! (applyed to theatrical viewing)
- Have a solid idea of what your going to go see! Dont walk up to a theater and stand around for 45 minutes not knowing what your going to see. Also, have an idea of what the movie is about too before you pay to see said film.
- Know what time your movie is playing! Do NOT walk up to a ticket booth and just ASSUME that the movie your going to see is going to start in 5 mintues. Also, READ the Marquee with the times, and DO NOT ASK THE PERSON IN THE TICKET BOOTH "WHAT TIME DOSE THE MOVIE START".. You will offically be labeled a fucking retard by the entire staff of said theater.
- SHOW UP ON TIME for your movie: If its a big movie, a good half hour to 45 mintues. And thats mostly on opening day and weekends. Do not Show up 45 mintues EARLY to a film on the weekdays, or to one thats been out for a while. 15 minutes early is the exceptable time to be early for a film. Also as important, DO NOT SHOW UP MORE THAN 5 minutes late for a movie. Not all Theaters have a HALF HOUR of trailers. Which is a myth, the longest traliers run is about 15 mintues MAX now. If you show up 5 minutes past the start time, just go to the next show, or DO NOT GO AT ALL (the only, ONLY time this is exceptabel is if you have seen the movie at least Twice already) Also, if you show up over 10 mintues late for a movie, do not even bother to buy your ticket for that show. IT IS ANNOYING FOR EVERYONE for someone to come in late to a movie.
- Buy all of your snacks BEFORE the movie starts! one reason to be about 15 mintues early. Get your treates and GO SIT DOWN! Also, DO DRAIN THE LIZARD BEFORE YOU SIT down. Getting up and down is annoying to everyone.
- Do not BRING any child under the age of 8 to an adult film. EVEN IF ITS PG-13. Kids under that age are not going to understand a DAMN thing going on unless its an animated or childs film. BABIES are an ABSOLUTE NO! If you cant find a fucking sitter, you cannot leave your house with your child because you want to go watch a nice film for a couple of hours. If you do, CHILD SERVESIS will be called on your ass!
- Do NOT lie about your childs age to save $1.50 on the evening prices. All your doing is teaching your kid to be is dishonest. And your a horrible person for doing so.
- DO NOT SNEAK IN FOOD for the love of jesus. Im sorry, but if you want a beer or a stake or a hamburger or something else besides NACHOS, a Pretzel or popcorn, There are theaters around that do serve that type of shit for your movie experiance, but they are a drive, so unless your willing to to that far, do not bring in your stinky food. Your pissed that they dont serve coffee, GO RENT A FUCKING MOVIE and get your starbucks fix somewere else. A theater is not a fucking resturant.
- DO NOT TALK DURING A FILM! on a cell phone, to your friend, to your self. making MST3K cracks druing a film is only funny if its just you and your buds in a movie by yourselves. NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO +HEAR YOUR SHIT! Cell phone users will be beheaded.
- Do not go to a movie to make out with your significant other. No on wants to see your pre teen ass or anything else playing sucky face. Its dark in a theater, but not that dark. If you want to make out with out anyone watching, go to a fucking park at night and do it there.
- DO NOT DROP YOUR UNDERAGE KIDS OFF BY THEMSELVES to go see a movie! This is the same thing as bringing a baby to a movie. If your fucking kids are too much for you, get a fucking sitter and go out. A movie theater is NOT A FREE BABY SITTER! Giving them $50 and dumping them off with no prental supervison for a couple of hours makes you a HORRIBLE person and you should be shot and your kids hung for being assholes.
- PICK YOUR SHIT UP as you leave. A movie theater is not you house, and you have no RIGHT to trash it as so. Would you like it if someone came to yourhouse, threw gummy bears at your TV, spilled coke everywere, dumped popocorn on the floor and just took off. Hell then came back to complain about how messy your place is? Dont think so. Jsut because someone else has to clean up, dosnt give you the right to be a pig.
- Last, THEATERS arnt cheep now. Do not bitch about the prices of the tickets (even though they are high) and do not bitch that you can get a thing of red vines for half the price at the store. A theater is not a store, they make money on the concessions, YOU DONT WANT TO PAY FOR what they're selling, THEN DONT BUY IT!
Just follow these simple rules and be kind and allow others around you to enjoy the movie...GOOD or not.
I still hold this as true!
August 7, 2005 - Sunday
Everyones a drunk......
Current mood: exhausted
They are. Theres a huge problem with the people i know... lots of them are dunks....
I admit that i "drink" ocasionally, but not much (as my taste for booze never matured) But, fuck... just about every one i know drinks till their dumb.
Just about everyone in my 2 main circles of friends drink, my grandparents drink, my mom drinks, my cousin drinks, now it my brother and his friend.
And i get hassled on this part. My mom bitches to me about my brothers drinking, when i tell her that she drinks all the time.... But she complains to me about him drinking.. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!!!
All i am is the fucking responsible one, but i get shit for being that, yet everyone depends on me to be there to bail there ass out when they've done too much....
HEY. SOME ONE HAS TO BE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE!!!
If not, there would be a lot more shit going on.
So yeah...
I dont drink, but i hang out with everyone who dose....
same goes for the stoners too.......
Life is sure fucking odd like that......
Now, everyone is full of emotional problems besides the harsh drinking.
August 3, 2005 - Wednesday
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT IM FULL OF HATE...............
Current mood: pissed off
And i am! SO FULL OF IT!!!!!
Not the racist
type of hate...... but a shared hatred for ALL PEOPLE!!! Well.. Not everyone...Just Groups and certin individuals. See... The last couple of months in my Condo Complex havent been the greatest... Back in May, my Car was broken into...A week to the day after my brother's car was broken into.... Then!!! 2 weeks after that happend, i come home at night to find NO PARKING SPACES in my complex cause several FORIGEN CARS are parked there.(We have a lot of MEXICANS living around here... I dont hate mexicans, but they do tend to allow more people than they should to live with them) So i park on the main street, which is WESTERN ST. I head out the next day to go to work when, LOW and BEHOLD! Some one felt that me having 2 side view mirrors was just too much, and proceeded to DESTROY! my DRIVER side mirror. Now that was almost 3 months ago.... Last week opend up a whole new can of shit.... See, our complex has an association... People who live here who run a mock board member like group, who, since life obviously didnt give them anything to do, decided to exert some little bit of power over the people who live in the complex. So when you move in, you have to sign some stuipd fucking form. Well, apparently, there are CERTIAN rules and criteria to just live around here. LIKE..."no parking infront of your garage" I can see that because it is a MINOR fire hazzard. Well, my brother parks there for about an hour or so cause there's no were else to park, and some one bitches about it. Well, 2 days later, we get a FEW more notices...they came in 2 envalopes, each one had 2 and 3 diffrent complaint forms in them. and they read like so: We have been informed that you have: LEFT YOUR WELCOME MAT HANG ON THE WALL IN THE FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE FOR MORE THAN A DAY YOU ARE COMING HOME AFTER MIDNIGHT YOU ARE SLAMMING THE DOOR YOU ARE BEING NOISY GOING UP AND DOWN YOUR STAIRS YOU ARE LEAVING YOUR TRASHCAN OUT MUCH TOO LONG AFTER PICK UP and every time you get something like this...Its gose on a STRIKE system. The door slamming was the SECOND STRIKE of the same complaint. Now, when i read these...I was a little annoyed. Because it was our neighbors...The ones with the 800 cats who crap in my flower bed, get into my garage and piss every were, who fight with the other neighbors cats and POSSUMS and sratch on the screen doors all night..BUT CANT POSSIBLY BE DISTERBING anyone...who "wrote" the complaints. This bugs me because they couldnt just walk 8 feet to my door, knock, and just ask to be a little quite or tell us what their problem with us is? It wouldnt bug me if they did it that way... I prefer to be upfront and formal that to just go bitch off to a faceless accociation. Because every time we get a complaint, our LAND LORD gets one too! Shes a little understanding about some of this stuff, but the womans also a friggin nutjob when it comes to CLEANLY NESS! So for the last several hours, everyone in my house has been scrubbing the place to make it look like no one ever lives here because thats the type of cleanlyness this woman likes, because she's coming by to talk to us about these complaints. So now my head hurts and im really pissed off. I hate the nieghborhood as it is...Now my neighbor's are really pissing me off because im now more than sure that these are the same assholes who called the cops on me for watching tv at 11 pm at night. Which brings me to a point on one of the subjects... Our landlord called to the association today..It turns out my neighbor is on said association. Our land lord told my mom, who told me, that the guy (who i think is talking on be half of his heffer bitch wife) donst like to be woken up at night because "its too hard to go back to sleep" Hence the bitching for coming in after midnight... But, there aint anything i can do about that because i WORK! He dosnt as he's fucking retired (the guys in his 70's) My job entails me to be there untill 1130 everynight that i work, sometimes PAST MIDNIGHT!! I get home usually after midnight because i usally go get somethign to eat, then im up for a couple of more hours because i couldnt do anything during the day because i was at WORK!! So i usually hit bed around 4 am mostly. But his fucking cats are keeping ME UP with their meowing and fucking fighting among each other!!! But no..apparently he's more important...so we all need to bow before him... WEll FUCK HIM! Hell, we dont even talk to the bastards! but their thrwoing a bitch fit over minor shit! That, and the idiots that come into my work....Its just a jolly fucking day out every time i stepinto the "REAL" world. I really fucking hate people...i wish a lot of them would just DIE!! at least the ones with no commonsense or who feel that they need everything spelled out for them.... Yeah...Lifes fucking great isnt it!
I'm still very bitter and angry, but find comedy in the more hateful things in life..
July 19, 2005 - Tuesday
I have returned from the MECCA!
Current mood: refreshed
I have spent the last 4 days (thrusday-sunday) in the holy land... SAN DIEGO! Comic Con to be more presice.
Spending the the week with my usuall posse, we packed up and headed down to the promise land, along with 20000 other people from around the world to celebrate GEEKDOME.
Thursday....Checked in, bought some merchandise, got to see the ADULT SWIM pitch panel (and possibly the coolest, most hatefull new show coming soon, MINORITEAM!) We then checked in to our hotel. ONLY DAY ONE!
FRIDAY!- Met BRUCE FUCKING CAMPBELL!!! Stood in line for an hour for his autograph, but now he and Sam Raimi have signed my EVIL DEAD dvd. SWEET!!!! Met JOHEN VASQUEZ (almost missed the other ADULT SWIM PANNEL, but the fates were with me this week, as i managed to get his autograph on my INVADER ZIM DVD and still got into the pannel) Got my AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE DVD signed by the creators. Perchased some Graphic Novels and a Chasing Amy poster. Got Jim Lee to sign my copy of BATMAN ALLSTARS and i got my Street Fighter comics signed by the artisist. Got some grub at IN and OUT and turned in for the night.
SATURDAY- Sat in one room ALL DAY (8 hours to be presice)
In this room i saw the following:
Charlize Theron pimp Aeon Flux
Kevin Smith Rant for an hour.
The cast of Firefly and Joss Weadon talk about Serinity
Kate Beckinsale talk about UNDERWORLD 2
Marke Steven Johnson show us what he's doing with GHOST RIDER
The cast of STEALTH (Jamie Foxx, Jessica Beil, and the guy from Sweet Home alabama) pimp their shit.
Peter Jackson Sent a video and 3 minutes of KING KONG, and i wet my pants at the TREX fight they showed. Then JACK BLACK, Naomi Watts and Adrian Brody came out and did Q and A.
THEN to cap off the night....at least on the panels, KEVIN SMITH came out and introduced the greastest band in the world..TENACIOUS D!!! who preceeded to ROCK THE FUCKING HOSE DOWN!!!!!!! In the sweetest set of music made by the hands of man.
I then went upstairs to watch the costume masqurade. Back at the hotel and caught some ZZZ.
SUNDAY- The day i did all of my main buying. I purcahsed a BATTLE ROYALE 1 and 2 dvd set. GODZILLA FINAL WARS Monster X figure, a HE MAN Bust (46/3500), The rest of JOHEN VASQUEZE's books, Back issues of various comics i needed, Battle Royale vol. 13, Godzilla Mogura figure. and a KEVIN SMITH Comic Con Exclusive figure. I took pics and left the land of milk and honey, a little sad, but much better for the time i had.
I met many people, i did many things, and for my 11 conceutive comic con in a row, it was probably one of the best i've been to.
July 2006 cannot get here any faster.
This was probably the best Con year I've ever had. The following years have been hard to match.
July 13, 2005 - Wednesday
Tomarrow, i return to mecca!
Current mood: excited
YES. After another shitty year of filler, I FINALLY GET TO RETURN TO MECCA... A.K.A SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!
This is the one time of the year i can be around MY PEOPLE, The geeks, nerds, assholes and lovers of genra materail, as we all converge onto one speck in the universe to bitch, complain, drink, laugh and LOVE!
Were it dosnt matter what race you are, how skinny or fat you are, it just depends if you can talk the talk and back it up.
A place were you can buy the bootleg copy of KUNG FU HUSTLE (origianl hong kong version) and a stack of PETER PARKER: THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER MAN for $5.
Comic Con was early that year.....
July 11, 2005 - Monday
Interesting....This is the story of my fucking life.
Current mood: tired
I found this little essay to be quite amusing, yet painfully true.
"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” OR THE MOST FRUSTRATING OF THEM ALL: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."
A story i know ALL too fucking well. But i know for a fact that women, no matter how "Good" they are, always want an asshole and to be treated like shit from said asshole. They put themselve through this for the longest time because DEEP fucking down, they get off on it. A woman, for some God only knows reason, likes to be fucked with (in both senses). They then bitch about it, and put themselves through hell over it, but they stay with said asshole. They want to be treated nice, and told that their beautiful and all that shit, but deep down, they want to be treated like a red headed step child. Used and Abused (physically and menatlly) Now there are always exceptions to everything, and there are women out there who know excatly what they want, but the rest, well, they claim not to be, but they are shallow beings only wanted to be fucked over again and again.
And for us "Good" guys, we must play along with GOD's crule design.
I had cut and pasted that little essay and added my own little take on it. It still kinda rings true today. Women love assholes!
