Subject : AND OTHER THING!!!
Posted Date: : Mar 4, 2007 1:39 AM
I've touched on this before, but since Im in a fucking ranting mood right now.. I'm going to get on it again..
I was having a discussion the other day on the ZONE... under the topic of things that piss you off..
I went on a rant about people who get married before the age of 25 or get married while in the millitary just make me fucking angry and annoyed alot of the time...
The conversation went on and the person I was having it with spoke her peace and I respect her opnion.. as it is hers and what she took from it is perfectly fine..
But for me.. my view on such things just dont sit well with me.
What brought this up was in the last year or so, though either surfing myspace or actually running into these people, a decent amount of people that I knew in High School are already fucking married or have a kid. All of them under the age of 25.
This shit just bugs the fuck out of me because 9/10 these kinds of relationships dont last, and the marriage is just sort of something "GROWN UP" or "COOL" to fucking do. 9/10 of these kinds of relationships usually end in divorce... the kid thing is even worse because now you got a kid who's parents probably wont be around at the same time.. and yes thats a good thing some times, but in the situations where both parents are still in the kid's life, thats not fair to the fucking kid.
The military thing bugs me even more because this day and age, theres not a newscast (not as much anymore because its too depressing to show and dosnt garner ratings and hurts the bush administrations war efforts) were you hear about a solider getting killed in action, and they talk to the widow, and it turns out that they were young, married and had a fucking family.
Thats really fucking shitty.
But you know something, people fucking now these risks but still and go and get married and start a family... and the goverment encourages this shit, as you get paid more if you're married or have a family in the military.. that might work fine for a carrer solider, but not for someone who joined for other oprotunites or had nothing eles to do after highschool...
If I was incharge.. I would make it to where you couldnt get married untill you're service was done... Its a proven fact that people are ballsier when they have nothing to lose, so why would you want you're solider to have the thought in the back of his or her head that if they die in battle that they'll never see their family again? People tend to question their descisions and something like that could get you killed or maimed...
Its just irriating to me..
Maybe because np one takes marriage seriously anymore.. These asshole religous fanatics thump around about the SASCTITY of marriage.. but the fucking divorce rate in the country is at %60. And that being married over 20 years is a fucking landmark now adays... This is why I dont give a fuck if gays get married, because to me, very few take marriage serioulsy any more..
The only time i condone marriage under 25 is if its someone like my friends who recently got married. They're both under 25, but they've been together for 8 years already.. thick and thin, if a relationship has gone on that long already, then yeah, marriage is fine...
I dont know why this kind of thing pisses me off so much... Maybe its the fact that my grandparents have been married for almost 60 years, or the fact that my parents called it quits after 16 years, or the fact that the news and other media focus so much on celeberty relationships and that anyone who dates more than 6 months is almost expected to get married, and divorces are even more widely coverd and common place....
It all just fucking irritates me. I just would like to think that there is some fucking common sense out there. You're early 20's are for exploring the world. Meeting new people learning about life, not settling down right away....
I need to go hit something now...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
April 19th, 2007
Subject : AS OF LATE..... These things.....
Posted Date: : Apr 19, 2007 12:14 AM
So.. its been a few weeks since i've botherd to write anything.
In those few weeks a nice chunk of shit has happend.
First off. Im moving from my place in STANTON, and back to Cypress, about 200 yeards from my previous home in Cypress. The place is smaller, but cheeper. So for the last few days I've been moving shit back and forth and its been a headach as my mother gose to depth con 4 with anything like this. So the stress factor has been through the roof. Im hoping by the end of this week that everything will be moved, as our land lord is breathing down our asses about coming in and starting to work on the place. I"ve argued this as we've paid for the month so that we could move out. We're there till the 27th, and can be there till then, and untill out contract is up, our land lord shouldnt even be worrying about any of the shit with the place till we're gone. Not now. The new place is perfect with me, but my mom nitpicks the place to death because its not "NEW" like she likes. We fouind a place that was "NEWER" but it was smaller and more expensive and in a shitty neighborhood, and she wanted that place insted, I didnt.
A plus side is that, after my 23 years of exsistance, I WILL FINALLY HAVE CABLE IN MY HOME! As we cant watch any TV with out it at this new place.
To add to more stress, my car died yesterday in a Target Parking lot. Thanks to a friend, and 3 hours of driving around and trying to unhook the practically fused on battery, my car is now running fine... for now...
My computer problems contiue...I've been arguing with my grandparents that I dont need a new comp as I dont want them forking out $700 bucks for a new one, and that fixing this one will be far less. Well, thinking that my problem was just the motherboard, my friend who has been working on it suggested to just pick up a new motherboard. Problem is that my old comp was a EMACHINE and has a shitty motherboard and you cant find the damn thing anywere. We find it online and order two of them, only to find out that my processor is fried. So now I have to get a new motherboard and new processor, but it'll all be worth it as I'll still be almost $600 under what my grandparents wanted to spend. Not to mention that when my bud scanned my harddrive roughtly 17,234 diffrent virus's showed up. Leading to belive that the motherboard was just part of the problem. After everything said and done, my comp will be greatly improved.
Another Lay off came about. Two months with my uncles place didnt last due to bad bussiness, so I'm now job hunting again. I'm trying to find somthing I like, but the problem is that the things I like doing dont pay much, and the better paying jobs are the ones I wasnt all thrilled with and really didnt want to get up in the moring for. I have con and Britain in a few months and I need to really put money away. I've bounced back before, hopfully I'll bounce back this time.
On the personal front, Ive hit rock bottom! My current weight is now 327lbs. The heaviest I've ever been. And I can feel it too. I'm not sleeping well, Im lazy and lathargic as all hell. My motivation is nill, My back hurts in the morning, and bending over now seems like a task then a reflex. Not good signs. It's not helping my non exsistant love life either. Though I've been told that the weight isnt the whole issue, as my personality is too..offputting. My new goal is to be at least 30 lbs lighter for comic con, my original goal was to be 280lbs, but with everything going on at the moment, 298 is more realistic if i can make it. My bud Mike has been riding my ass as he was the one that got me to drop about 20lbs the first time around. He wants me to start wrestling training with him, which I told him I'll do, but at my current weight, I'm unsure of how long I'd last.. Im guessing not much.
On a positive note... over the weekend, my cousin finally came home from IRAQ. Hes in the airforce and hasnt been in CA for at least 2 years. Since he was only in town for a few days, I tryed to make it an all out thing. So we held a party in his honor, ate hardy, drank, and tryed to get everyone I could to see the guy before he left again.
Me, my cousin Jeff, and my brother pat. We might as well all be brothers as thats how close we are.
As you can see, I've also grown a beard. Somthing that has vexed my family. The beard was somthing I couldnt ever do while working for the theater and for dealership, but while I had the chance, I said fuck it, why not. Every guy has some sort of faical hair at one point in their life. Not to mention it covers up the double chin a bit.
So now..get to finish moving, then have to find a new job and find time to work out... dosnt sound too hard.. Just very trying...
I'd just rather be watching dvds right now.
Posted Date: : Apr 19, 2007 12:14 AM
So.. its been a few weeks since i've botherd to write anything.
In those few weeks a nice chunk of shit has happend.
First off. Im moving from my place in STANTON, and back to Cypress, about 200 yeards from my previous home in Cypress. The place is smaller, but cheeper. So for the last few days I've been moving shit back and forth and its been a headach as my mother gose to depth con 4 with anything like this. So the stress factor has been through the roof. Im hoping by the end of this week that everything will be moved, as our land lord is breathing down our asses about coming in and starting to work on the place. I"ve argued this as we've paid for the month so that we could move out. We're there till the 27th, and can be there till then, and untill out contract is up, our land lord shouldnt even be worrying about any of the shit with the place till we're gone. Not now. The new place is perfect with me, but my mom nitpicks the place to death because its not "NEW" like she likes. We fouind a place that was "NEWER" but it was smaller and more expensive and in a shitty neighborhood, and she wanted that place insted, I didnt.
A plus side is that, after my 23 years of exsistance, I WILL FINALLY HAVE CABLE IN MY HOME! As we cant watch any TV with out it at this new place.
To add to more stress, my car died yesterday in a Target Parking lot. Thanks to a friend, and 3 hours of driving around and trying to unhook the practically fused on battery, my car is now running fine... for now...
My computer problems contiue...I've been arguing with my grandparents that I dont need a new comp as I dont want them forking out $700 bucks for a new one, and that fixing this one will be far less. Well, thinking that my problem was just the motherboard, my friend who has been working on it suggested to just pick up a new motherboard. Problem is that my old comp was a EMACHINE and has a shitty motherboard and you cant find the damn thing anywere. We find it online and order two of them, only to find out that my processor is fried. So now I have to get a new motherboard and new processor, but it'll all be worth it as I'll still be almost $600 under what my grandparents wanted to spend. Not to mention that when my bud scanned my harddrive roughtly 17,234 diffrent virus's showed up. Leading to belive that the motherboard was just part of the problem. After everything said and done, my comp will be greatly improved.
Another Lay off came about. Two months with my uncles place didnt last due to bad bussiness, so I'm now job hunting again. I'm trying to find somthing I like, but the problem is that the things I like doing dont pay much, and the better paying jobs are the ones I wasnt all thrilled with and really didnt want to get up in the moring for. I have con and Britain in a few months and I need to really put money away. I've bounced back before, hopfully I'll bounce back this time.
On the personal front, Ive hit rock bottom! My current weight is now 327lbs. The heaviest I've ever been. And I can feel it too. I'm not sleeping well, Im lazy and lathargic as all hell. My motivation is nill, My back hurts in the morning, and bending over now seems like a task then a reflex. Not good signs. It's not helping my non exsistant love life either. Though I've been told that the weight isnt the whole issue, as my personality is too..offputting. My new goal is to be at least 30 lbs lighter for comic con, my original goal was to be 280lbs, but with everything going on at the moment, 298 is more realistic if i can make it. My bud Mike has been riding my ass as he was the one that got me to drop about 20lbs the first time around. He wants me to start wrestling training with him, which I told him I'll do, but at my current weight, I'm unsure of how long I'd last.. Im guessing not much.
On a positive note... over the weekend, my cousin finally came home from IRAQ. Hes in the airforce and hasnt been in CA for at least 2 years. Since he was only in town for a few days, I tryed to make it an all out thing. So we held a party in his honor, ate hardy, drank, and tryed to get everyone I could to see the guy before he left again.
Me, my cousin Jeff, and my brother pat. We might as well all be brothers as thats how close we are.
As you can see, I've also grown a beard. Somthing that has vexed my family. The beard was somthing I couldnt ever do while working for the theater and for dealership, but while I had the chance, I said fuck it, why not. Every guy has some sort of faical hair at one point in their life. Not to mention it covers up the double chin a bit.
So now..get to finish moving, then have to find a new job and find time to work out... dosnt sound too hard.. Just very trying...
I'd just rather be watching dvds right now.
April 27th, 2007
Subject : THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Date: : Apr 27, 2007 12:33 AM
Im excited... for I... NOW.. HAVE ... CABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, not cable, but satallite... same thing....
You ask.... SO FUCKING WHAT?
Well, I was a deprived child....and I never had cable untill this day!
So I'm very happy... Oh I also have a DVR too!
good times!
Posted Date: : Apr 27, 2007 12:33 AM
Im excited... for I... NOW.. HAVE ... CABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, not cable, but satallite... same thing....
You ask.... SO FUCKING WHAT?
Well, I was a deprived child....and I never had cable untill this day!
So I'm very happy... Oh I also have a DVR too!
good times!
May 7th, 2007
Subject : FOR FUCKS SAKE!
Posted Date: : May 7, 2007 12:54 AM
Fustration is running ramped for me lately! My family has been getting on my ass about stuipd shit and and are trying to fucking run my life.
My mom has this fucking thing about her that if its not to her liking, its got to go (or change)
Example. My room. I've been putting it together for the last week. My mom feels that it needt so to match the rest of the apartment in THEMES and hates the fact that I display all my figures and collectible shit. She wanted all my stuff to be put away in the closet and basicly be almost an empty room, with just my bed, wall unit, and computer table in there. I'm paying rent so i told her to go stick it on that idea. She keep reminding me that Im unemployed, and "WHY AM I NOT WORKING" My grandparents keep backing this up too. My grandmother keeps saying that I could easily have a "computer Job" and keeps telling people she knows that they should hire me because I'm a COMPUTER EXPERT, but this is coming from a 78 year old woman... I keep telling her that my computer skills are minimal at best and that these "computer" jobs require more than what I know.
Today, all three have teamed up on me about what I should be wearing cloths wise, that they dont like my tshirts and shouldnt wear so much black, not to mention that my mom hates the beard I grew and tells me to shave every fucking day.
Im fucking 23 years old, and im getting dictated around like im 4 years old for fucks sake.
Its a shitty postion im in at the moment with no end in sight
Posted Date: : May 7, 2007 12:54 AM
Fustration is running ramped for me lately! My family has been getting on my ass about stuipd shit and and are trying to fucking run my life.
My mom has this fucking thing about her that if its not to her liking, its got to go (or change)
Example. My room. I've been putting it together for the last week. My mom feels that it needt so to match the rest of the apartment in THEMES and hates the fact that I display all my figures and collectible shit. She wanted all my stuff to be put away in the closet and basicly be almost an empty room, with just my bed, wall unit, and computer table in there. I'm paying rent so i told her to go stick it on that idea. She keep reminding me that Im unemployed, and "WHY AM I NOT WORKING" My grandparents keep backing this up too. My grandmother keeps saying that I could easily have a "computer Job" and keeps telling people she knows that they should hire me because I'm a COMPUTER EXPERT, but this is coming from a 78 year old woman... I keep telling her that my computer skills are minimal at best and that these "computer" jobs require more than what I know.
Today, all three have teamed up on me about what I should be wearing cloths wise, that they dont like my tshirts and shouldnt wear so much black, not to mention that my mom hates the beard I grew and tells me to shave every fucking day.
Im fucking 23 years old, and im getting dictated around like im 4 years old for fucks sake.
Its a shitty postion im in at the moment with no end in sight
August 3rd, 2007
Subject : Of Con and Job Hunting
Posted Date: : Aug 3, 2007 6:21 PM
Well, Comic Con is now over.
This is the first year in a long while were I had almost no money, yet I still had a fairly good time.
I met some celebs, I bought some toys, and I managed to finally meet up with members of the ZONE. All good fun.
But Con its self kinda left me a bit dissapointed. It seems that with all the problems that they fixed after complaining over the years, they created a few new ones.
The problems is that Con is trying too hard to focus on MOVIES, not just the comic related ones. And they're kissing the collective asses of the studios and it just kinda brought down the atmosphear of the show. As my friend sergio said, there are people here who are here to just be here. Which is true. There were so many "FIRST TIMERS" at con this year. Not that thats a problem, as everyone should go at least once, but the problem with many of them was that almost all of these first timers had no idea what half the shit there was. They were there because they heard some celebs were going to be there and thought that they were going to meet them. Hall H is the biggest bane upon the exisitance of Con, as thats were all the big shit happens, and thats all everyone gose and sees.
Hopefully next year, things will balance out. More comics, less room taken up by pointless booths or booths that have almost nothing (marvel was the biggest culprit of this)
Now, I continue my Job hunt. Its looking less and less like I'm going to Europe now because I havent been able to find a job that pays decent (or a fucking job at all) I've submitted over 3 dozen applications in the last 4 months and nothing. Its really irking me in the wrong way and Im starting to get pissed. My family has been riding my ass, acting like I havent been trying. They blamed my "LONG HAIR AND BEARD" for not getting a Job (which is BS as A) I've only had 2 interveiws in the last 4 months B) my friend CHARLES managed to get at least 2 job offers and a fucking job and he looks like an AMISH rapist.
So to appease them, I shaved my beard to a goattee and cut my hair. But troubles still persist. I'm down to selling off parts of my collection (comics are the first to go, as they are the easiest to replace) Im hoping Karma will kick in and I'll land something soon.
Posted Date: : Aug 3, 2007 6:21 PM
Well, Comic Con is now over.
This is the first year in a long while were I had almost no money, yet I still had a fairly good time.
I met some celebs, I bought some toys, and I managed to finally meet up with members of the ZONE. All good fun.
But Con its self kinda left me a bit dissapointed. It seems that with all the problems that they fixed after complaining over the years, they created a few new ones.
The problems is that Con is trying too hard to focus on MOVIES, not just the comic related ones. And they're kissing the collective asses of the studios and it just kinda brought down the atmosphear of the show. As my friend sergio said, there are people here who are here to just be here. Which is true. There were so many "FIRST TIMERS" at con this year. Not that thats a problem, as everyone should go at least once, but the problem with many of them was that almost all of these first timers had no idea what half the shit there was. They were there because they heard some celebs were going to be there and thought that they were going to meet them. Hall H is the biggest bane upon the exisitance of Con, as thats were all the big shit happens, and thats all everyone gose and sees.
Hopefully next year, things will balance out. More comics, less room taken up by pointless booths or booths that have almost nothing (marvel was the biggest culprit of this)
Now, I continue my Job hunt. Its looking less and less like I'm going to Europe now because I havent been able to find a job that pays decent (or a fucking job at all) I've submitted over 3 dozen applications in the last 4 months and nothing. Its really irking me in the wrong way and Im starting to get pissed. My family has been riding my ass, acting like I havent been trying. They blamed my "LONG HAIR AND BEARD" for not getting a Job (which is BS as A) I've only had 2 interveiws in the last 4 months B) my friend CHARLES managed to get at least 2 job offers and a fucking job and he looks like an AMISH rapist.
So to appease them, I shaved my beard to a goattee and cut my hair. But troubles still persist. I'm down to selling off parts of my collection (comics are the first to go, as they are the easiest to replace) Im hoping Karma will kick in and I'll land something soon.
July 25th, 2007
Subject : COMIC CON 2007 FUCKERS! MECCA HERE I COME!
Posted Date: : Jul 25, 2007 1:42 AM
Well, it that time of year again that I make my annual trip to San Diego. Im off to my spirital Mecca of COMIC CON. The bit of Heven that I get once a year.
Im out of town till Sunday.
This is going to be the tightest year for me Money wise as I havent fucking worked since the end of March (fucking bastard online job applications) But no bother, Im going to be busy with autographs and pannels that I probably wont even spend that much (not after last years debacle)
I will have access to a computer So I mght be able to drop some updates in, and depending if I can get on my personal account, but if not, head on over the THE REALM TOYS myspace page and I'll deffiantly be dropping some updates there.
Posted Date: : Jul 25, 2007 1:42 AM
Well, it that time of year again that I make my annual trip to San Diego. Im off to my spirital Mecca of COMIC CON. The bit of Heven that I get once a year.
Im out of town till Sunday.
This is going to be the tightest year for me Money wise as I havent fucking worked since the end of March (fucking bastard online job applications) But no bother, Im going to be busy with autographs and pannels that I probably wont even spend that much (not after last years debacle)
I will have access to a computer So I mght be able to drop some updates in, and depending if I can get on my personal account, but if not, head on over the THE REALM TOYS myspace page and I'll deffiantly be dropping some updates there.
August 27th, 2007
Subject : The Princess and Zelda need a good kick in the cunt!
Posted Date: : Aug 27, 2007 9:26 PM
The last couple of nights I've been on an Old School SNES bing with Mario Allstars and Super Mario World.
Lets forget the fact that Lost Levels is made by satan himself and programmed by hitler as he raped a puppy, but the I started looking at the basic premise of all these games.
Sans Super Mario Bros 2 (which was.."ALL A DREAM" because, as I said, lost levels, programmed by hitler) was completely diffrent game that Nintendo dumped the original charecters and inserted the Mario Charecters in, Mario is always sticking his Italian neck out to save the fucking princess!
Now lets go over this. Mario is a plumber from Brooklyn who fell down a magical pipe and into the Mushroom kingdom like Alice in Wonderland on some sort of diffrent drug. (Im thinking the secreations of blowfish?) There he meets up with a hot young blond thing (who looks way to fucking young for Mario, who looks like he's in his mid 40's to start with) They hook up (but never marry) and hang out with a bunch of fucking Mushroom people. Ok, Ill buy that.
Then this giant dino dragon man comes along and steals the princess, Why? World Conquest? Rape? or is he just a dick? We dont know. Mario, out of the goodness out his hart, travels through 8 diifrent worlds of shit that would make the pope question the exsistance of god. 8 Worlds were the laws of gravity and Physics as we know it clearly dont apply. Block flote in mid air, Pipes hang in the middle of the sky, and for some reason, you can only go right (some say its Gods will) ((ok, you can only go right in the first game, they added the sense of realism with being able to go back the way you came from 2 onward)
While doing this, you're fighting Koopa's fucking army that consist of some sort of Mushroom mutants, Giant turtles, some with wings! Venus Fly traps on steriods, and all the while, the plant life can make you grow into a giant, or change the chemical struture of your cloths and give you the ability to throw fire like many pegan gods of Old.
And as long as you dont touch any of these baddies in the wrong way, you maintain your godlike power! or you shrink back to your midget self.
Now. After going through 8 levels and thinking you've killed Koopa 7 diffrent times by dumping his ass in a lava pit, you save the bitch! She thanks you and in a story book ending, Mario would get some that night.
He should, he risked possibly 7 or 8 lives trying to rescue her, he should get some tail.
And after all of this, you'd think the princess would learn to watch what neighborhood she gose through alone? Or at least have a couple of body guards that arent 3 foot tall mutant mushrooms. She's fucking royalty for christsakes!
No, this happens, like 10 more times! And for some fucking reason, the Mushroom kingdom sits on a fault line and Volcanic ground because it just keeps getting bigger and fucking bigger, meaning that Mario has to run even further to save the bitch! (lets not start on why a fucking leaf turns him in to a raccon hybrid that can fly!)
If I were Mario, I would told the bitch, DONT FUCKING LEAVE THE CASTLE IF YOUR JUST GOING TO GET KIDNAPPED.
What the fuck man? Dose the Mushroom kingdom border Mexico? Because like that country, kiddnapping is rampid!
Same goes for Zelda!
Link is a nice guy with a fairy and a sword that shoots energy when his heart gadge is full (dont even know how that starts)
Zelda, is also a princess, and the keeper of the triforce, the magic non gay triangle that gives power to HYRULE. Gannondorf, an evil pig man magician thing, has a more distinct reason for kiddnapping and tomfooliery.
So Link spends the next 184 hours working his way back and forth through fucking Hyrule (because they cant have everything close by for convince sake! NO you have to walk 400 miles to get a fucking pair of scuba fins just so you can walk back 400 miles to cross 10 feet of fucking water!) to save the princess, and get the triforce back!
And, unless its a giant fucking metor falling, this seems to happen alot. Gannondorf kiddnaps Zelda, Link sticks his ass out to save her and become hero of Hyrule, but you know what! Zelda is the kinda bitch that dosnt put out! She's a cock tease and I wouldnt put it past Link to one day tell her to fuck off and unless she makes with the head, he aint savin her ass!
The princess and Zelda are probably the kinda of women that talk to each other about making their boyfriend's fucking lives misrible! Theyre probably attention whores that must have the focus on them constantly, hence they let them selves get kiddnapped all the fucking time.
I see Mario and :Link as those two guys in the mall who wait outside with their girlfriends shit as they're in side trying on more shit that that they dont need! You can see that Link and Mario have had the life sucked out of them and all they want to do is go home and watch TV.
Mario and Link.. The Al Bundy and Griff of the video game world!
Posted Date: : Aug 27, 2007 9:26 PM
The last couple of nights I've been on an Old School SNES bing with Mario Allstars and Super Mario World.
Lets forget the fact that Lost Levels is made by satan himself and programmed by hitler as he raped a puppy, but the I started looking at the basic premise of all these games.
Sans Super Mario Bros 2 (which was.."ALL A DREAM" because, as I said, lost levels, programmed by hitler) was completely diffrent game that Nintendo dumped the original charecters and inserted the Mario Charecters in, Mario is always sticking his Italian neck out to save the fucking princess!
Now lets go over this. Mario is a plumber from Brooklyn who fell down a magical pipe and into the Mushroom kingdom like Alice in Wonderland on some sort of diffrent drug. (Im thinking the secreations of blowfish?) There he meets up with a hot young blond thing (who looks way to fucking young for Mario, who looks like he's in his mid 40's to start with) They hook up (but never marry) and hang out with a bunch of fucking Mushroom people. Ok, Ill buy that.
Then this giant dino dragon man comes along and steals the princess, Why? World Conquest? Rape? or is he just a dick? We dont know. Mario, out of the goodness out his hart, travels through 8 diifrent worlds of shit that would make the pope question the exsistance of god. 8 Worlds were the laws of gravity and Physics as we know it clearly dont apply. Block flote in mid air, Pipes hang in the middle of the sky, and for some reason, you can only go right (some say its Gods will) ((ok, you can only go right in the first game, they added the sense of realism with being able to go back the way you came from 2 onward)
While doing this, you're fighting Koopa's fucking army that consist of some sort of Mushroom mutants, Giant turtles, some with wings! Venus Fly traps on steriods, and all the while, the plant life can make you grow into a giant, or change the chemical struture of your cloths and give you the ability to throw fire like many pegan gods of Old.
And as long as you dont touch any of these baddies in the wrong way, you maintain your godlike power! or you shrink back to your midget self.
Now. After going through 8 levels and thinking you've killed Koopa 7 diffrent times by dumping his ass in a lava pit, you save the bitch! She thanks you and in a story book ending, Mario would get some that night.
He should, he risked possibly 7 or 8 lives trying to rescue her, he should get some tail.
And after all of this, you'd think the princess would learn to watch what neighborhood she gose through alone? Or at least have a couple of body guards that arent 3 foot tall mutant mushrooms. She's fucking royalty for christsakes!
No, this happens, like 10 more times! And for some fucking reason, the Mushroom kingdom sits on a fault line and Volcanic ground because it just keeps getting bigger and fucking bigger, meaning that Mario has to run even further to save the bitch! (lets not start on why a fucking leaf turns him in to a raccon hybrid that can fly!)
If I were Mario, I would told the bitch, DONT FUCKING LEAVE THE CASTLE IF YOUR JUST GOING TO GET KIDNAPPED.
What the fuck man? Dose the Mushroom kingdom border Mexico? Because like that country, kiddnapping is rampid!
Same goes for Zelda!
Link is a nice guy with a fairy and a sword that shoots energy when his heart gadge is full (dont even know how that starts)
Zelda, is also a princess, and the keeper of the triforce, the magic non gay triangle that gives power to HYRULE. Gannondorf, an evil pig man magician thing, has a more distinct reason for kiddnapping and tomfooliery.
So Link spends the next 184 hours working his way back and forth through fucking Hyrule (because they cant have everything close by for convince sake! NO you have to walk 400 miles to get a fucking pair of scuba fins just so you can walk back 400 miles to cross 10 feet of fucking water!) to save the princess, and get the triforce back!
And, unless its a giant fucking metor falling, this seems to happen alot. Gannondorf kiddnaps Zelda, Link sticks his ass out to save her and become hero of Hyrule, but you know what! Zelda is the kinda bitch that dosnt put out! She's a cock tease and I wouldnt put it past Link to one day tell her to fuck off and unless she makes with the head, he aint savin her ass!
The princess and Zelda are probably the kinda of women that talk to each other about making their boyfriend's fucking lives misrible! Theyre probably attention whores that must have the focus on them constantly, hence they let them selves get kiddnapped all the fucking time.
I see Mario and :Link as those two guys in the mall who wait outside with their girlfriends shit as they're in side trying on more shit that that they dont need! You can see that Link and Mario have had the life sucked out of them and all they want to do is go home and watch TV.
Mario and Link.. The Al Bundy and Griff of the video game world!
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