August 11th 2005

August 11, 2005 - Thursday

Theres a Spider in my Room......And i cant sleep because of it...
Current mood: depressed

I cant. Its 4:30 am. I was just going to bed when this big spider crawled across my cealing. I dont kill spiders, i just let them be, but the little fucker had to jump down on my poster above my head, then he had to fall behind my bed. NOW THAT I KNOW he's around my bed, I CANT SLEEP! I have fucked up dreams as it is, and i havent had a good night sleep for a couple of months now, so a Spider crawling around my bed in the middle of the night dose not help.



So..Im up, on MYSPACE, looking on as i waste my life ever so...



I had a converastion with my Grandfather today...It delt with the fact that my mother dosnt have a grip when it comes to SMART financial endveors..... Like paying bills.



I've gone over this before...My mom bitches at me about the bills that we have no money to pay...That every time i buy a dvd for my self, that im wasting my money that should be going to other things (mostly she wants to make sure that I have money so she could borrow from me when she dosnt have enought to cover the bills.) Yet, I give her $100 dollars out of every check i get, ITS SUPPOSE to go to car insurance, but Im only suppose to pay that every 2 months (its 200 every 2 months) Yet, Im Forking over a quarter of my check every pay day. Im only making between $350 - $425 per check. After gas and other bills, that really dosnt leave me with a lot to go on for the next 2 weeks. But my younger brother, who also drives, but hasnt paid for car insurance in almost a year and a half now, has a job that pays him about $650 take home! thats every 2 weeks also... But she dosent collect from him, and the 1 time she did, HE BITCHED for a fucking Week about it, and BORROWED money from ME!! (which i never got back, and if I ever need to borrow money, its only about 5 bucks, THATS IT!) And he can go out and BUY a NEW Fucking guitar, but i buy one dvd and my ass is in a ringer.



Anyway, My grandfather was getting on me getting a new job, which segwayed in to DOING something with my life. Get a carrer or something...



Now my whole family knows what i want to do... Its make movies for a living... ITs all i really fucking know! That and usuless pop culture shit.



And when i reinerate this fact, he kinda yells at me! Why? Because i've been out of school for 3 years now, i've been doing the same thing since i got out, which is Work at the theater and hang out either at my friends house or sleep.

I can see where he's coming from... I've been talking about making movies since i was in 7th grade.... Its all i really want to do! But the fucking problem is i have no $$$ and no FUCKING ACTORS!!! which is another problem. Hell, untill the end of 10th grade, i had planned on going to film school, but then i found out how UNGODLY expensive it is and that by reading the works of ROBERT RODRIGUZ, I should just go make my own fucking movie outside of the studio system. And thats been my plan ever since.... But Im going to be 22 soon, i'll be working the same JOB for almost 6 years now, and my grandfather said it perfectly, "IF i dont watch myself, i'll wake up one day and i'll realize im 43 and have really done nothing with my life!" And he's right...In fact thats one of my Greatest fears... Just fucking wasting away my life! I've seen it happen to people, and its a fucking path i DO not want to go down.



But i've looked at what i've done over the last 3 years since HS, and all ive done is gotten FATTER and Lazier and havent done JACK SHIT!



Fuck, I've lowered my self to a point i had hoped i wouldnt of gone to when i was in HS. When i was 16, i figured i'd have shit figured out a little better by the time i got to be 22. I'd have started a movie already, I'd be on my own, i'd have a better social life, FUCK i'd thought i'd would of gotten LAID by now... But I'm basicly still the same annoying FUCK that i was in HIGH SCHOOL, except im not in HS anymore and i really dont have that many excused for being this way.

My financial situation is ass right now, and COULD be fixed. Not nessisarly by getting a better paying job, mostly because all of the better paying jobs require me to work A HELL OF A LOT MORE HOURS than i really can afford to, but that my car sucks and i dont have the $$$ to fix it because its all going to gas and my MOM!! If i had my car in MY NAME, i'd have my insurance straightend out, and i'd have a little more money every month! My mom NEEDS to change our Cell phone plan, as we're getting charged UP THE ASS for dumb reasons that could easly be taken care of... And i could cut back on the spending a little ( i eat out WAY to fucking much.. Thats what is killing my account, FAST FOOD...Not DVD's, NOT COMICS, FAST FUCKING FOOD)



As for my film carrer. I have all of the techniqle shit in place.. .I have a High Powerd Camera, a computer for editing, its just getting actors for my projects and some extra fuding is what's preventing me... If i can get this Documentery off of the ground, it'll be the first step in the right direction.



Cause i DO NOT want to end up 43, living at home... STILL havent gotten laid... Because if i end up like that... I might as well just puf a fucking BULLET to my FUCKING loser head.

I think too much at night

August 7th 2005

August 7, 2005 - Sunday

Proper Movie Ediquite FUCKERS!
Current mood: annoyed

I have worked at a movie theater for 5 years now. Im a movie fan. I attend a movie at least 3 times a month when i can. So im a little irritaeted when people dont follow the proper movie ediquite. There are rules to follow fuckers! Simple, but important rules....



RULES for MOVIE GOING! (applyed to theatrical viewing)

- Have a solid idea of what your going to go see! Dont walk up to a theater and stand around for 45 minutes not knowing what your going to see. Also, have an idea of what the movie is about too before you pay to see said film.

- Know what time your movie is playing! Do NOT walk up to a ticket booth and just ASSUME that the movie your going to see is going to start in 5 mintues. Also, READ the Marquee with the times, and DO NOT ASK THE PERSON IN THE TICKET BOOTH "WHAT TIME DOSE THE MOVIE START".. You will offically be labeled a fucking retard by the entire staff of said theater.

- SHOW UP ON TIME for your movie: If its a big movie, a good half hour to 45 mintues. And thats mostly on opening day and weekends. Do not Show up 45 mintues EARLY to a film on the weekdays, or to one thats been out for a while. 15 minutes early is the exceptable time to be early for a film. Also as important, DO NOT SHOW UP MORE THAN 5 minutes late for a movie. Not all Theaters have a HALF HOUR of trailers. Which is a myth, the longest traliers run is about 15 mintues MAX now. If you show up 5 minutes past the start time, just go to the next show, or DO NOT GO AT ALL (the only, ONLY time this is exceptabel is if you have seen the movie at least Twice already) Also, if you show up over 10 mintues late for a movie, do not even bother to buy your ticket for that show. IT IS ANNOYING FOR EVERYONE for someone to come in late to a movie.

- Buy all of your snacks BEFORE the movie starts! one reason to be about 15 mintues early. Get your treates and GO SIT DOWN! Also, DO DRAIN THE LIZARD BEFORE YOU SIT down. Getting up and down is annoying to everyone.

- Do not BRING any child under the age of 8 to an adult film. EVEN IF ITS PG-13. Kids under that age are not going to understand a DAMN thing going on unless its an animated or childs film. BABIES are an ABSOLUTE NO! If you cant find a fucking sitter, you cannot leave your house with your child because you want to go watch a nice film for a couple of hours. If you do, CHILD SERVESIS will be called on your ass!

- Do NOT lie about your childs age to save $1.50 on the evening prices. All your doing is teaching your kid to be is dishonest. And your a horrible person for doing so.

- DO NOT SNEAK IN FOOD for the love of jesus. Im sorry, but if you want a beer or a stake or a hamburger or something else besides NACHOS, a Pretzel or popcorn, There are theaters around that do serve that type of shit for your movie experiance, but they are a drive, so unless your willing to to that far, do not bring in your stinky food. Your pissed that they dont serve coffee, GO RENT A FUCKING MOVIE and get your starbucks fix somewere else. A theater is not a fucking resturant.

- DO NOT TALK DURING A FILM! on a cell phone, to your friend, to your self. making MST3K cracks druing a film is only funny if its just you and your buds in a movie by yourselves. NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO +HEAR YOUR SHIT! Cell phone users will be beheaded.

- Do not go to a movie to make out with your significant other. No on wants to see your pre teen ass or anything else playing sucky face. Its dark in a theater, but not that dark. If you want to make out with out anyone watching, go to a fucking park at night and do it there.

- DO NOT DROP YOUR UNDERAGE KIDS OFF BY THEMSELVES to go see a movie! This is the same thing as bringing a baby to a movie. If your fucking kids are too much for you, get a fucking sitter and go out. A movie theater is NOT A FREE BABY SITTER! Giving them $50 and dumping them off with no prental supervison for a couple of hours makes you a HORRIBLE person and you should be shot and your kids hung for being assholes.

- PICK YOUR SHIT UP as you leave. A movie theater is not you house, and you have no RIGHT to trash it as so. Would you like it if someone came to yourhouse, threw gummy bears at your TV, spilled coke everywere, dumped popocorn on the floor and just took off. Hell then came back to complain about how messy your place is? Dont think so. Jsut because someone else has to clean up, dosnt give you the right to be a pig.

- Last, THEATERS arnt cheep now. Do not bitch about the prices of the tickets (even though they are high) and do not bitch that you can get a thing of red vines for half the price at the store. A theater is not a store, they make money on the concessions, YOU DONT WANT TO PAY FOR what they're selling, THEN DONT BUY IT!



Just follow these simple rules and be kind and allow others around you to enjoy the movie...GOOD or not.

I still hold this as true!

August 7th 2005

August 7, 2005 - Sunday

Everyones a drunk......
Current mood: exhausted

They are. Theres a huge problem with the people i know... lots of them are dunks....



I admit that i "drink" ocasionally, but not much (as my taste for booze never matured) But, fuck... just about every one i know drinks till their dumb.



Just about everyone in my 2 main circles of friends drink, my grandparents drink, my mom drinks, my cousin drinks, now it my brother and his friend.



And i get hassled on this part. My mom bitches to me about my brothers drinking, when i tell her that she drinks all the time.... But she complains to me about him drinking.. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!!!



All i am is the fucking responsible one, but i get shit for being that, yet everyone depends on me to be there to bail there ass out when they've done too much....





HEY. SOME ONE HAS TO BE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE!!!



If not, there would be a lot more shit going on.



So yeah...



I dont drink, but i hang out with everyone who dose....





same goes for the stoners too.......











Life is sure fucking odd like that......

Now, everyone is full of emotional problems besides the harsh drinking.

August 3rd 2005

August 3, 2005 - Wednesday

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT IM FULL OF HATE...............
Current mood: pissed off

And i am! SO FULL OF IT!!!!!



Not the racist
type of hate...... but a shared hatred for ALL PEOPLE!!! Well.. Not everyone...Just Groups and certin individuals. See... The last couple of months in my Condo Complex havent been the greatest... Back in May, my Car was broken into...A week to the day after my brother's car was broken into.... Then!!! 2 weeks after that happend, i come home at night to find NO PARKING SPACES in my complex cause several FORIGEN CARS are parked there.(We have a lot of MEXICANS living around here... I dont hate mexicans, but they do tend to allow more people than they should to live with them) So i park on the main street, which is WESTERN ST. I head out the next day to go to work when, LOW and BEHOLD! Some one felt that me having 2 side view mirrors was just too much, and proceeded to DESTROY! my DRIVER side mirror. Now that was almost 3 months ago.... Last week opend up a whole new can of shit.... See, our complex has an association... People who live here who run a mock board member like group, who, since life obviously didnt give them anything to do, decided to exert some little bit of power over the people who live in the complex. So when you move in, you have to sign some stuipd fucking form. Well, apparently, there are CERTIAN rules and criteria to just live around here. LIKE..."no parking infront of your garage" I can see that because it is a MINOR fire hazzard. Well, my brother parks there for about an hour or so cause there's no were else to park, and some one bitches about it. Well, 2 days later, we get a FEW more notices...they came in 2 envalopes, each one had 2 and 3 diffrent complaint forms in them. and they read like so: We have been informed that you have: LEFT YOUR WELCOME MAT HANG ON THE WALL IN THE FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE FOR MORE THAN A DAY YOU ARE COMING HOME AFTER MIDNIGHT YOU ARE SLAMMING THE DOOR YOU ARE BEING NOISY GOING UP AND DOWN YOUR STAIRS YOU ARE LEAVING YOUR TRASHCAN OUT MUCH TOO LONG AFTER PICK UP and every time you get something like this...Its gose on a STRIKE system. The door slamming was the SECOND STRIKE of the same complaint. Now, when i read these...I was a little annoyed. Because it was our neighbors...The ones with the 800 cats who crap in my flower bed, get into my garage and piss every were, who fight with the other neighbors cats and POSSUMS and sratch on the screen doors all night..BUT CANT POSSIBLY BE DISTERBING anyone...who "wrote" the complaints. This bugs me because they couldnt just walk 8 feet to my door, knock, and just ask to be a little quite or tell us what their problem with us is? It wouldnt bug me if they did it that way... I prefer to be upfront and formal that to just go bitch off to a faceless accociation. Because every time we get a complaint, our LAND LORD gets one too! Shes a little understanding about some of this stuff, but the womans also a friggin nutjob when it comes to CLEANLY NESS! So for the last several hours, everyone in my house has been scrubbing the place to make it look like no one ever lives here because thats the type of cleanlyness this woman likes, because she's coming by to talk to us about these complaints. So now my head hurts and im really pissed off. I hate the nieghborhood as it is...Now my neighbor's are really pissing me off because im now more than sure that these are the same assholes who called the cops on me for watching tv at 11 pm at night. Which brings me to a point on one of the subjects... Our landlord called to the association today..It turns out my neighbor is on said association. Our land lord told my mom, who told me, that the guy (who i think is talking on be half of his heffer bitch wife) donst like to be woken up at night because "its too hard to go back to sleep" Hence the bitching for coming in after midnight... But, there aint anything i can do about that because i WORK! He dosnt as he's fucking retired (the guys in his 70's) My job entails me to be there untill 1130 everynight that i work, sometimes PAST MIDNIGHT!! I get home usually after midnight because i usally go get somethign to eat, then im up for a couple of more hours because i couldnt do anything during the day because i was at WORK!! So i usually hit bed around 4 am mostly. But his fucking cats are keeping ME UP with their meowing and fucking fighting among each other!!! But no..apparently he's more important...so we all need to bow before him... WEll FUCK HIM! Hell, we dont even talk to the bastards! but their thrwoing a bitch fit over minor shit! That, and the idiots that come into my work....Its just a jolly fucking day out every time i stepinto the "REAL" world. I really fucking hate people...i wish a lot of them would just DIE!! at least the ones with no commonsense or who feel that they need everything spelled out for them.... Yeah...Lifes fucking great isnt it!

I'm still very bitter and angry, but find comedy in the more hateful things in life..

July 19th 2005

July 19, 2005 - Tuesday

I have returned from the MECCA!
Current mood: refreshed

I have spent the last 4 days (thrusday-sunday) in the holy land... SAN DIEGO! Comic Con to be more presice.



Spending the the week with my usuall posse, we packed up and headed down to the promise land, along with 20000 other people from around the world to celebrate GEEKDOME.

Thursday....Checked in, bought some merchandise, got to see the ADULT SWIM pitch panel (and possibly the coolest, most hatefull new show coming soon, MINORITEAM!) We then checked in to our hotel. ONLY DAY ONE!



FRIDAY!- Met BRUCE FUCKING CAMPBELL!!! Stood in line for an hour for his autograph, but now he and Sam Raimi have signed my EVIL DEAD dvd. SWEET!!!! Met JOHEN VASQUEZ (almost missed the other ADULT SWIM PANNEL, but the fates were with me this week, as i managed to get his autograph on my INVADER ZIM DVD and still got into the pannel) Got my AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE DVD signed by the creators. Perchased some Graphic Novels and a Chasing Amy poster. Got Jim Lee to sign my copy of BATMAN ALLSTARS and i got my Street Fighter comics signed by the artisist. Got some grub at IN and OUT and turned in for the night.

SATURDAY- Sat in one room ALL DAY (8 hours to be presice)

In this room i saw the following:

Charlize Theron pimp Aeon Flux

Kevin Smith Rant for an hour.

The cast of Firefly and Joss Weadon talk about Serinity

Kate Beckinsale talk about UNDERWORLD 2

Marke Steven Johnson show us what he's doing with GHOST RIDER

The cast of STEALTH (Jamie Foxx, Jessica Beil, and the guy from Sweet Home alabama) pimp their shit.

Peter Jackson Sent a video and 3 minutes of KING KONG, and i wet my pants at the TREX fight they showed. Then JACK BLACK, Naomi Watts and Adrian Brody came out and did Q and A.

THEN to cap off the night....at least on the panels, KEVIN SMITH came out and introduced the greastest band in the world..TENACIOUS D!!! who preceeded to ROCK THE FUCKING HOSE DOWN!!!!!!! In the sweetest set of music made by the hands of man.

I then went upstairs to watch the costume masqurade. Back at the hotel and caught some ZZZ.

SUNDAY- The day i did all of my main buying. I purcahsed a BATTLE ROYALE 1 and 2 dvd set. GODZILLA FINAL WARS Monster X figure, a HE MAN Bust (46/3500), The rest of JOHEN VASQUEZE's books, Back issues of various comics i needed, Battle Royale vol. 13, Godzilla Mogura figure. and a KEVIN SMITH Comic Con Exclusive figure. I took pics and left the land of milk and honey, a little sad, but much better for the time i had.

I met many people, i did many things, and for my 11 conceutive comic con in a row, it was probably one of the best i've been to.



July 2006 cannot get here any faster.

This was probably the best Con year I've ever had. The following years have been hard to match.

July 13th 2005

July 13, 2005 - Wednesday

Tomarrow, i return to mecca!
Current mood: excited

YES. After another shitty year of filler, I FINALLY GET TO RETURN TO MECCA... A.K.A SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!



This is the one time of the year i can be around MY PEOPLE, The geeks, nerds, assholes and lovers of genra materail, as we all converge onto one speck in the universe to bitch, complain, drink, laugh and LOVE!



Were it dosnt matter what race you are, how skinny or fat you are, it just depends if you can talk the talk and back it up.



A place were you can buy the bootleg copy of KUNG FU HUSTLE (origianl hong kong version) and a stack of PETER PARKER: THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER MAN for $5.

Comic Con was early that year.....

July 11th 2005

July 11, 2005 - Monday

Interesting....This is the story of my fucking life.
Current mood: tired

I found this little essay to be quite amusing, yet painfully true.

"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” OR THE MOST FRUSTRATING OF THEM ALL: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."



A story i know ALL too fucking well. But i know for a fact that women, no matter how "Good" they are, always want an asshole and to be treated like shit from said asshole. They put themselve through this for the longest time because DEEP fucking down, they get off on it. A woman, for some God only knows reason, likes to be fucked with (in both senses). They then bitch about it, and put themselves through hell over it, but they stay with said asshole. They want to be treated nice, and told that their beautiful and all that shit, but deep down, they want to be treated like a red headed step child. Used and Abused (physically and menatlly) Now there are always exceptions to everything, and there are women out there who know excatly what they want, but the rest, well, they claim not to be, but they are shallow beings only wanted to be fucked over again and again.

And for us "Good" guys, we must play along with GOD's crule design.

I had cut and pasted that little essay and added my own little take on it. It still kinda rings true today. Women love assholes!

July 4th 2005

July 4, 2005 - Monday

My Ass got WORKED....
Current mood: exhausted

Couple of hours ago, I boxed my friend Joey at another friends house. Friendly fight mind you, and a REMATCH from about 2 years ago ( I WON, but he was drunk at the time). Well, being the person that i am, ACHING to fight someone ( i have a lot of aggression) i jumped at the chance to box. Well, 2 years, a lot has changed. IM now 50 lbs heavier, not to mention that i havent done anything really physical in a long ass time. Also, earlier in the night, i had a 40 ounce choclate shake, and JOEY's lady Alica said i had to take a double shot to even out the match (Joey had been drinking all night, but wasnt drunk) So, on a full stomach, now filled with 2 shots of Tequila 1 mintue before i go out, i box.

and i got worked.

I admit it, i got worked.



I got maybe 3 good shots in, but Joey landed the frist good punch to the head, spun me, and a couple of seconds to kick in, and i went down. Not hard. But i got some sense as to how hard of a punch Joey throws. I get back up and go at it. Several shots later, im out of breath, and ready to throw up ( combo of being winded and the Tequila coming back up) So I ended the match. Joey and i shook and that was that.

But now i realize just how bad im out of shape. I didnt last 3 mintues boxing my friend, and i still got worked. I barley blocked and i was pulling back most of the fight. Maybe now is the time to really look at getting back in to some sort of physical conditon that dosnt involve me gasping for breath ever time i jog 10 feet and i can wear regular LARGE shirts again.


I dont mind the SIZE im at, its the poor condition and excess flab.

Not to mention the Ego took yet another blow tonight.

I never did get a rematch

June 1st 2005

June 1, 2005 - Wednesday

R.I.P. Movie Town
Current mood: sad
It was a sad, sad day in my life today.... I lost my video store....Movie Town in Anahime. It burnd down after the DryCleaners 2 shops down caught fire. SO MANY TITLES were destroyed.... Now...i have to go out and find another video store...but it wont be as cool as MOVIE TOWN...

That Place was never the same after it opend

May 31st 2005

May 31, 2005 - Tuesday

Its all about the shorties!
Current mood: crappy

Mother of GOD! What a fucking week...

Star Wars opend.... And my work got it......

So for the last week.. I have been working horrible hours..and dealing with the lowest of life..... Something the circus wouldnt even take...

Then...We got Madagasacar at work...... THE CHILDREN....Horrible.

The country's going to hell...and its going to be because parents bought their children all of the unessisary crap that they dont need.... LIKE SHOES WITH FUCKING WEELS BUILT IN!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT....I CANT STAND THOSE GOD DAMN THINGS....And another thing...DO 9 year olds REALLY NEED A GODDAMN CELL PHONE???????? These kids are fucking spolied!!!! And their all assholes to boot!!! Not to mention that i've seen couples in my work that obvioulsy find COMDOMS and other forms of birth control offensive...Hell i saw a couple that looked no older that 18 with 2 kids...(trust me...they belonged to them) Not to mention the whitest of the WHITE TRASH (mullets and missing teeth in all) with children.( why do the uglest of people feel that they need to breed the most?) Oh..and lets not for get the MExicans.... Ones that speak broken english and have 7 kids (all within a year apart of each other mind you) who like to show up almost a half hour late for the movie...Buy the tickets.. then spend another half hour buying food (its tough when you cant add.. so you dont know that buying3 small drinks and a medium popcorn is more expensive than buying 2 large drinks and a LARGE popcorn...but they're special apparently) then going in to the movie...Mid show.. and be as loud as hell before finally finding a seat.



Top that off with LIttle sleep... and my friend trying to kill herself...and you can just call it a jolly week in my life........





AH...gotta love it......

I was getting to my wits end at the theater by this point

May 14th 2005

May 14, 2005 - Saturday

HOLLYWOOD! Were the freaks play!
Current mood: uncomfortable
Hollywood. What a wonderful place. I try to visit when ever possible (and seeing as how my car is in shitty condition right now, the vistis are few and far between) But when i do go up there, i usually hang out on Hollywood blvd. Were Gramans and the walk of fame are. Theres a theater up there called the EGYPTIAN that hosts a bunch of cool movies all the time that i like to go see. Well, usually, when im done with the movie, i wander around hollywood for a while. Well, if you've never been to Hollywood, let me explain whats around there. Hollywood Blvd (that area of it at least) is usually filled with TOURIST on the weekends, the rest of the time, during the day, its people going about their busniess, at night, its a mixture of Party people, Bums, or dead beat teens to mid 20 somethings posing as bums.and then the freaks.. THE ALL MIGHTY FREAKS. These ppl blend in with the bum crowd, but what seperates them is usually their attire of clothing or behavior.. Some rave and jabber about. Some are compleatly sane and do it for the attention. Like people who dress up and battle as ROBOTS...Or clowns ordering coffee. TONIGHT though.. TOOK THE CAKE on FREAKS in HOLLYWOOD. Some friends of mine and i went to a wrestling show in Hollywood tonight (PWG) Cool show, shitty end to a mainevent though. Well, the show ended about 1230 am and we left. We head out on Sunset Blvd....While driving...we notice a biker (on a bycicle) We got closer and noticed it was A GIANT RABBIT on a bike!!!! We pull over and he stops in front of our car. He leans forward and says in the most CREEPY, MONO TONE VOICE "whats up" Well, almost eveyone in the car pissed themselve. I took a really shitty pic, and a second thing on a bike stoped near us. I yelled "THE HELL IS THAT' and the rabbit said "Thats my friend...THE polar bear" in a creepy mono tone voice....Well we were al lfreaked out a little by this time...Before we left, the rabbit said something like "Dont do shrooms.. unless you want to (iluadable)" Well, we left, kinda creeped out by some people in GIANT ANIMAL COSTUMES in hollywood. Ah...what a great place.

I enjoy Hollywood, but yeah, theres an endless supply of freaks there.

May 11th 2005

May 11, 2005 - Wednesday

ASS RIMING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: angry
WELL, last week, my brothers car was broken into, THIS WEEK, IT ME!!! The fuckers poped my window, took my cdplayer (they didnt get my brothers) YET they decided not to take anything else (CDs, movies and other stuff) which proves that these guys are dumbasses beyond belif. I CANT FUCKING STAND THIS FUCKING TOWN OF STANTON CA. FUCKING DIRTY, FUCKING ASSHOLE, FUCKING DISHONEST FUCKING TRASH AND FILTHY FUCKING MEXICANS (not all of them, but around here, there are a lot of asshole mexicans) GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate thives

.

I really fucking hate thieves

May 6th 2005

May 6, 2005 - Friday

Another reason i fucking hate living in this country
Current mood: pissed off
Tshirt hell took down its worse than hell section. The owner has bitched out about "offending" people and took off the worse than hell shirts. He's donating money to certin groups to make up for selling the shirts. I CANT FUCKING BELIVE THIS SHIT. A site that prouds its self on crazy and offending shirts gets a fucking guilt trip. I never got to order shirts i've had my eye on: HighSchool Shooting Tour Like him or hate him, Hitler killed a lot of jews I SURFFD THE TSUNAMI I plane NY Jesus did it for the chicks Rape is no laughing matter (unless your raping a clown) and the latest one i liked MY MEXICAN WORKS HARDER THAN YOUR MEXICAN. This is fucking bullshit in my opnion. Im sick of this type of shit were everyone has to be carful about what they say about others so that they dont offend them. FUCK. I didnt even get the Highschool shooting tour shirt to wear to a get together at my old HS. What may be offensive to one is funny to another. This is apparently american, Land of Free speach. Unless its offensive or gose against the ideals of others who have more say than you. FUCK THAT. Look. I dont care if im offending you. I get offended all the time. But you know what. I get over it. When i die or do something fucking stupid, im sure there will be those who get a kick out of it. And you know what. Let them. They apparently find something wrong with me, then fine, thats them. They have free will, let them think what they want. Thats what i do.

People need to learn to lighten up.

May 5th 2005

May 5, 2005 - Thursday

BOOZE..MANS OLDEST FOE!!
Current mood: drained
BOOZE!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING JOKE! In the last week or two, i've had to break up fighting among my friends. Other friends getting hammerd and making phone calls across the nation, and Dragging other off the floors of bar bathrooms. I, personally, havent ever got hammerd. And after this week, i think it'll take a HELL OF A LOT of persuasion to get me to get hammerd. I mostly have to play DD on most of the nights when these partyfests happen. Although its a pain in the ass, i'd rather be the sober, incontrol, responsible one, than the jackass who makes a fool out of himself and dose something stupid. And i know most of you are going to say. "well you dont know how to have fun. Your straight edge. Your a loser" Well, i've witness first hand the IDOTIC mistakes ones make while drunk. I'd currently be a loser whos making sure that others arnt killing each other while plasterd than to be in on the meele.

I hadnt started drinking yet. This was still that point in life where if you drank, you got smashed as fast as you can and did stupid shit. I played the responsible one for the longest time before I said fuck it and started drinking.

May 4th 2005

May 4, 2005 - Wednesday

SCURVEY SWINE AND RAT BASTARDS!!!!
Current mood: pissed off
UNFUCKING BELIVABLE. I know offically hate my fucking neighborhood. Last night, between 2 and 5 am, some assholes broke into my brother's car.THey broke the lock to the driver door (Looked like a screwdriver and hammer combo) Ransacked the car, took a bass guitar, all of his cds (that were in a book at least) and, even though this was stupid on my bro's part, took his wallet out of the car too. BUT THEY EMPTIED THE WALLET OF EVERYTHING SANS DRIVERS LICANSE!!!! They tried to take the CD player, but i guess they couldnt get the damn thing out before being caught. They pannel with the cd player has been stabed at with a screwdriver. All of this happend while the car was parked right next to our garage! If theres one thing i hate more than anything else in the world, its theives. I CANT FUCKING STAND THEM. Anyone who fucking steals blatinly is a grade A ass fuck in my book. AND if i ever find out who did this (i live in Stanton, its probably some dirty fucking MEXICAN ASSHOLES ((and im not saying that as a bash on the mexican people in general, but like 80% of the crime around here is caused mostly from young mexican guys who dont have anything better to do but fuck with other people. HELL, one of them was tagging off of the 91 at beach the other day according to my bro)) BUT In my neighborhood, i wouldnt put it past it that one of them staked out my place before hand. So im ROYALLY PISSED right now. And i wish horrible, slow, painful cancer and very painful Gonnariea on the bastards.

This was the start of a rash of car break in's in my neighborhood at the time. It made me paranoid and my displeasure with Mexicans reached new highs.

April 18th 2005

April 18, 2005 - Monday

Women, my friends, and swimming!
Current mood: drained
The last couple of weeks have been.... interesting and agervating. Basicly, i've come to realize all of my friends (sans a select few) are fucking nuts. They're either drunk off something, having promiscuious sex, or in a horrible fit of depression over a non exisitant love life. Too much fucking drama. Which segways to my next point: WOMEN! God's own toruture rack. They work men horribly, yet we cannot resist, and are many times broken horribly by them. They complain about not finding a good guy, when there are many good guys out there. Not only this, but they choose the assholes who fuck them around and take full advantage of them. Lovely creatures they are. Oh, and on a side topic, i have now taken up swimming to shed some really unwanted poundage. Im to fucking fat for my own good. Plus, i plan to film my movie in september, and i would like to be in it. So if i do, i want to look good.

I'm still swimming, but still fat. This was written during the peak of the great ROBIN/CHARLES/ELISABETH drama that I got caught in the middle of. There was a slow turn in my though process that started here.

March 28th 2005

March 28, 2005 - Monday

shit.....LIfes movin on...so were the hell am i going?
Current mood: frustrated
In the past month, I have had 4 friends decide to move out of A) Their parents place B) The state. Seems everyone is getting on with their life, actually going out and doing something (even if it is as small as moving out), So what the fuck am i doing? im 21, still living at home. No Girlfriend, and not much on the horizon. Im still working the same job i was 5 years ago (mostly because i've chosen to.) but i have $0 in the bank. Its a pain in the ass to get anything started, and i dont want to go work another job for more cash, cause i dont want to get caught up with aquiring bills and shit, because i still intend to start making movies, which no one belives that i will do. So, im stuck in a sort of limbo right now. I aint moving forward, as everyone else is, but im not going back to anything. So, right now, im fucked.

Not much has changed.. I did move out, but moved back in with the family after my roommates moved to texas. I have more than $10 bucks in the bank, but not more than $150 at the moment. I've gotten bills paid, but not fast enough.. Plus it seems that I bitch about the same shit every other day back then too.

March 20th 2005

March 20, 2005 - Sunday

I've come to the conclusion that im cursed (or some shit like that)
Current mood: contemplative
I have been thinking over the last couple of days about my lack of a love life (lack, ok theres NONE) I disscused this with a couple of friends of mine over an early morning breakfest at 3 am at dennys. Now since High School, there was a small little incedent (im not going into it) But lets just say that there was a girl that liked me, but i didnt feel the same way. Well, ever since then, even when i come remotely close to either A) asking a girl out B) finding out a chick is into me. Some short of shit happens. Its too odd and detailed to go over every incedent, but lets just say that i think that i've been cursed or at least have some bad Jew-Jew put on me to never obtain a girlfriend, or at the very least, get laid. and because of this, my family thinks im gay. They cant comprehend why i dont have a Girlfriend. But in the generalization of things, i've learnd that Chicks dont dig big, loud, guys who simply just like the simpler things in life. ( ok, so i watch cartoons still) But in those Rare occasions in which i think i might be able to even ask a chick out, something happens to prevent it. So yeah. I hate my life! YEAY!!!!

I still joke that I'm under some sort of curse after turning that girl down in highschool. My self confidence hasnt risen much and my love life never got into any sort of gear. Though, I'm not so angry and bitter about it now.

March 8th 2005

March 8, 2005 - Tuesday

Ahhh. 21.
Current mood: contemplative
So, in the last week or so, i've had an extended celebration of my 21st bday. I am now legal to get drunk and buy myself a gun (Yeehaw) I Had the family dinner, then i did my little shindig at a buddies house to film my tv show. Then i went to Vegas over the weekend with a friend of mine. Had fun. Gambled, Drank and saw a show. So now what. Now that im 21, the hell do i do?? I've done many thing (except a lady) But now i actually need to get off my ass and do something with myself. I want to start making movies. But $$$ and lack of actors are the tough part. Oh, and finally get a GF. Many obsticals, many delimmas. Ah to be an adult.
Currently watching:

I was overly obsessed at the time with getting a girlfriend. I'm 25 now and still haven't done much with my life..and have come to even more realizations about life and mortality..shiver...

March 4th 2005

March 4, 2005 - Friday

GOING TO VEGAS TOMARROW!!!!
Current mood: happy
Hooray for me.....

My true love of Vegas started here.

February 27th 2005

February 27, 2005 - Sunday

I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD TO GO FUCK ITS SELF UP ITS STUIPD ASS
Current mood: nauseated
It like 2 in the morning right now. I have to get up in a couple of hours to go build a ring that EVERYONE is telling me that i wont get built. All im trying to do is film one little simple backyard wrestling show. Yet, its been a HUGE PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS. And yet, if i cant get one simple little thing like a backyard wrestling show going, HOW THE FUCK AM I EVER GOING TO GET A FUCKING MOVIE MADE. I feel as if the world wants to see me fail and be misierable forever.

the second to last backyard wrestling show I ever did. The stress I put on myself was stuipd and really, the guys who wrestled really gave to shits if they were there or not.

February 11th 2005

February 11, 2005 - Friday

What I want for my BDAY!!
Current mood: sleepy
My bday is a little under 2 weeks away. I've figured out what i want. Its not much as Im turning 21 so im being realistic. 1. CASH$$$$$$ and lots of it. 2. DVD's (Mainly BATMAN the animated series, Some Anime, and other stuff) 3. The breaks on my car fixed 4. and in the words of HESH: SEX! Not much, but thats what i want.

I ended up buying those Batman DVD's off ebay, and actually got one for my Birthday. The breaks were eventually fixed, but I did not get any sex...

February 11th 2005

February 11, 2005 - Friday

THE WORLD CAN GO FUCK ITS SELF!
Current mood: crappy
Yeah. Thats about it. It can just go fuck its self up its stupid fucking ass.

I dont remember what I was so pissed about.

February 9th 2005

February 9, 2005 - Wednesday

FUCKIN SHIT......a story of a madman
Current mood: crappy
I just got home from sitting at a all night restuant for 5 hours talking with my friend and his girlfriend. We all had a MAN MEAL and i had chicken too! So its like 5 am now. And im thinking of all the crap coming up and its giving me a headach. First off, i havent collected all the money i need to build a wrestling ring for my move/tv show, and im suppose to film the thing on the 27th of this month. Next is Valientines day, or YEAY, your 20 and still havent ever had a girlfriend REMINDER DAY! So same shit as last year and the year before. But this year its not as bad as a freind of mine is coming in from out of town and another friend of mine is coming up from Oceanside and we're going to hang out, but still....Its just another crule reminder that i aint got much going for me right now. Then in 3 weeks, its my 21st bday. I need to get my license changed soon so when they reissue it, i dont have to pay twice or go through any shit. (as i never changed my lincens when i moved) So i can go to vegas the next week and not be hassled. So yeah, that and a lot of other shit i just dont feel like dealing with that i have to deal with. Aint life grand..............

Well, the girlfriend thing never changed, but my first time hanging out at Mae's cafe was to become a more critical part of my relationship with my friends.

February 3rd 2005

February 3, 2005 - Thursday

DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or is it.
Current mood: accomplished
No. Not really. Actually, its quite the opposite. I opend an EBAY sellers account the other day so i could start clearing out some of the crap i dont need any more, and so far, things have been going good. I've already sold 2 items in the last couple of days. YEAY!!!!!!! GO. CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!!! its under the seller's name: silentmallrat Only 3 weeks till my 21st bday!

In the end, I made a decent amount of money off ebay, just wished I had the sense to save some of it.

January 24th 2005

January 24, 2005 - Monday

A weird sense of reality.
Current mood: numb
its about 5 am. I worked 10 hours stratit yesterday at my job on little more than 3 hours sleep. I came home and craped out for about an hour or two. Now, i cant really fall back to sleep Im tired, but not tired. And since i've gone this long with out any real sleep, I feel like Im watching myself type this right now from a distance. My head is light, but Im still conciseness of what Im doing. Its odd. I guess this is what its kinda like to be high. But at the same time, Im starting to see things. Flashes of light out of the corner of my eye when Im concentrating on something else. I'm starting to wander off a little, and for some reason, stupid thoughts seem more applicable right now. Theres a bunch of things on my mind i would like to ask or say to certin people, and part of me really wants to, but the last little bit of awarness is telling me: BAD IDEA. Which is probably for the best. But, then again, what would it hurt. If i fuck up, i could just blame it on my lack of sleep and exsaustion due to work. Which, btw, i have to be up for in like 6 hours. But the damnest thing is though, and this happens all the time i get like this ( i have no real sense of time anymore, just fall asleep when i feel like it) But when i dozed off hours earlier, I had very vivid dreams that i remember clearly. They were nice dreams in my own personal sense, and felt very, very real too, untill i snaped myself awake. Then i had to tell my brain that it wasnt real. Its odd.... it really is. But yet, still i go. And what have i done in these early hours. I've downloaded music and videos and sat infront of my comp waiting for MYSPACE to come back up because i had nothing better to do. But i had many things to do though.... Like finish my script, write the new script for my TV show, which i have to film tomarrow night before i return to the cable station. But, i sat around, looked at my half finished screenplay, did nothing to it, and looked over some porn and started working on a new CD to listen to. What a waste of fucking time. Yet, i realize that this is all i've been doing for the last month or so, and i've never reallly realized it untill now. I come home, sit on the net for hours, crap out, get up and start the same shit over again. This has also brought to my attention that since i've been doing this, i've kinda let myself go even more, and that i really need to start focusing on the more important shit in my life than dicking around on the net, looking for something thats not there. But, I keep going though. Like im on AUTO PILOT or something. Nothing in my life changes, just a diffrent day, same shit. Fuck, i tried to put on a wrestling belt, that only a year earlier fit perfectly, now wont even wrap halfway around my waist. The gorgeing needs to stop, yet i have no reason too cause my outlook on a love life is slim to nill, yet thats what i really want right now. Hell, just sex would tied me over, maybe snap me out of my trance. But no, that is not reality. Reality is this which i sit at whie i type this for the 10 or so people who'll actually read this. Me, infont of a computer, room clutterd, and nothing forward looking but another crappy day. What a crazy fucked up world im making for myself....

This was while I was still working at the theater, with no real set schedule. I would stay up till 5 or 6 in the morning before getting a few hours of sleep. My dicking around, though, hasn't changed much, and 4 years later, I'm still working on those scripts.

January 20th 2005

January 20, 2005 - Thursday

I want to fight.
Current mood: restless
You know, there are some times when you just get pumped up. Or some times when you get pissed, and you just want to go and throw down with some one. I get like that. Its not like im going to act on these impulses, but there are certin people i would love to just kick the crap out of. Then, there are some times i would just like to fight some one just to see if i could beat them or not. I dont know. Maybe i've been playing street fighter one to many times. Or im just angery all the time. First Rule of Fight Club................

My rare tough guy faze..

January 23rd 2005

January 23, 2005 - Sunday

HESH WANTS SOME SEX!
Current mood: awake
But im not Hesh. No, I am but a mear mortal who has to be up in 5 hours to go and strip floors and paint an emergency exit at my work cause a water pump broke and one of the theaters flooded and bussiness cant run untill the gay ass building inspector approves everything. Oh yeah, Im looking forward to that. Not only that, but i have to get my lincenes changed soon, or i'll have to retake the fucking DMV test, which i dont feel like. But i have a few gelms of hope in my life. Since i dont have any chance with a woman any time soon, I have my projects to look forward too. Yesterday i opend my Pay pal account, and hopefully by the end of the week, my ebay sellers account should be up and i should be making some extra bank from my old shit i dont want anymore. That, and i found a wresting ring for a reasonable price that i must attain. And my TV show is coming along nicely.

Oh..the perils of being 20