August 11th 2005

August 11, 2005 - Thursday

Theres a Spider in my Room......And i cant sleep because of it...
Current mood: depressed

I cant. Its 4:30 am. I was just going to bed when this big spider crawled across my cealing. I dont kill spiders, i just let them be, but the little fucker had to jump down on my poster above my head, then he had to fall behind my bed. NOW THAT I KNOW he's around my bed, I CANT SLEEP! I have fucked up dreams as it is, and i havent had a good night sleep for a couple of months now, so a Spider crawling around my bed in the middle of the night dose not help.



So..Im up, on MYSPACE, looking on as i waste my life ever so...



I had a converastion with my Grandfather today...It delt with the fact that my mother dosnt have a grip when it comes to SMART financial endveors..... Like paying bills.



I've gone over this before...My mom bitches at me about the bills that we have no money to pay...That every time i buy a dvd for my self, that im wasting my money that should be going to other things (mostly she wants to make sure that I have money so she could borrow from me when she dosnt have enought to cover the bills.) Yet, I give her $100 dollars out of every check i get, ITS SUPPOSE to go to car insurance, but Im only suppose to pay that every 2 months (its 200 every 2 months) Yet, Im Forking over a quarter of my check every pay day. Im only making between $350 - $425 per check. After gas and other bills, that really dosnt leave me with a lot to go on for the next 2 weeks. But my younger brother, who also drives, but hasnt paid for car insurance in almost a year and a half now, has a job that pays him about $650 take home! thats every 2 weeks also... But she dosent collect from him, and the 1 time she did, HE BITCHED for a fucking Week about it, and BORROWED money from ME!! (which i never got back, and if I ever need to borrow money, its only about 5 bucks, THATS IT!) And he can go out and BUY a NEW Fucking guitar, but i buy one dvd and my ass is in a ringer.



Anyway, My grandfather was getting on me getting a new job, which segwayed in to DOING something with my life. Get a carrer or something...



Now my whole family knows what i want to do... Its make movies for a living... ITs all i really fucking know! That and usuless pop culture shit.



And when i reinerate this fact, he kinda yells at me! Why? Because i've been out of school for 3 years now, i've been doing the same thing since i got out, which is Work at the theater and hang out either at my friends house or sleep.

I can see where he's coming from... I've been talking about making movies since i was in 7th grade.... Its all i really want to do! But the fucking problem is i have no $$$ and no FUCKING ACTORS!!! which is another problem. Hell, untill the end of 10th grade, i had planned on going to film school, but then i found out how UNGODLY expensive it is and that by reading the works of ROBERT RODRIGUZ, I should just go make my own fucking movie outside of the studio system. And thats been my plan ever since.... But Im going to be 22 soon, i'll be working the same JOB for almost 6 years now, and my grandfather said it perfectly, "IF i dont watch myself, i'll wake up one day and i'll realize im 43 and have really done nothing with my life!" And he's right...In fact thats one of my Greatest fears... Just fucking wasting away my life! I've seen it happen to people, and its a fucking path i DO not want to go down.



But i've looked at what i've done over the last 3 years since HS, and all ive done is gotten FATTER and Lazier and havent done JACK SHIT!



Fuck, I've lowered my self to a point i had hoped i wouldnt of gone to when i was in HS. When i was 16, i figured i'd have shit figured out a little better by the time i got to be 22. I'd have started a movie already, I'd be on my own, i'd have a better social life, FUCK i'd thought i'd would of gotten LAID by now... But I'm basicly still the same annoying FUCK that i was in HIGH SCHOOL, except im not in HS anymore and i really dont have that many excused for being this way.

My financial situation is ass right now, and COULD be fixed. Not nessisarly by getting a better paying job, mostly because all of the better paying jobs require me to work A HELL OF A LOT MORE HOURS than i really can afford to, but that my car sucks and i dont have the $$$ to fix it because its all going to gas and my MOM!! If i had my car in MY NAME, i'd have my insurance straightend out, and i'd have a little more money every month! My mom NEEDS to change our Cell phone plan, as we're getting charged UP THE ASS for dumb reasons that could easly be taken care of... And i could cut back on the spending a little ( i eat out WAY to fucking much.. Thats what is killing my account, FAST FOOD...Not DVD's, NOT COMICS, FAST FUCKING FOOD)



As for my film carrer. I have all of the techniqle shit in place.. .I have a High Powerd Camera, a computer for editing, its just getting actors for my projects and some extra fuding is what's preventing me... If i can get this Documentery off of the ground, it'll be the first step in the right direction.



Cause i DO NOT want to end up 43, living at home... STILL havent gotten laid... Because if i end up like that... I might as well just puf a fucking BULLET to my FUCKING loser head.

I think too much at night

August 7th 2005

August 7, 2005 - Sunday

Proper Movie Ediquite FUCKERS!
Current mood: annoyed

I have worked at a movie theater for 5 years now. Im a movie fan. I attend a movie at least 3 times a month when i can. So im a little irritaeted when people dont follow the proper movie ediquite. There are rules to follow fuckers! Simple, but important rules....



RULES for MOVIE GOING! (applyed to theatrical viewing)

- Have a solid idea of what your going to go see! Dont walk up to a theater and stand around for 45 minutes not knowing what your going to see. Also, have an idea of what the movie is about too before you pay to see said film.

- Know what time your movie is playing! Do NOT walk up to a ticket booth and just ASSUME that the movie your going to see is going to start in 5 mintues. Also, READ the Marquee with the times, and DO NOT ASK THE PERSON IN THE TICKET BOOTH "WHAT TIME DOSE THE MOVIE START".. You will offically be labeled a fucking retard by the entire staff of said theater.

- SHOW UP ON TIME for your movie: If its a big movie, a good half hour to 45 mintues. And thats mostly on opening day and weekends. Do not Show up 45 mintues EARLY to a film on the weekdays, or to one thats been out for a while. 15 minutes early is the exceptable time to be early for a film. Also as important, DO NOT SHOW UP MORE THAN 5 minutes late for a movie. Not all Theaters have a HALF HOUR of trailers. Which is a myth, the longest traliers run is about 15 mintues MAX now. If you show up 5 minutes past the start time, just go to the next show, or DO NOT GO AT ALL (the only, ONLY time this is exceptabel is if you have seen the movie at least Twice already) Also, if you show up over 10 mintues late for a movie, do not even bother to buy your ticket for that show. IT IS ANNOYING FOR EVERYONE for someone to come in late to a movie.

- Buy all of your snacks BEFORE the movie starts! one reason to be about 15 mintues early. Get your treates and GO SIT DOWN! Also, DO DRAIN THE LIZARD BEFORE YOU SIT down. Getting up and down is annoying to everyone.

- Do not BRING any child under the age of 8 to an adult film. EVEN IF ITS PG-13. Kids under that age are not going to understand a DAMN thing going on unless its an animated or childs film. BABIES are an ABSOLUTE NO! If you cant find a fucking sitter, you cannot leave your house with your child because you want to go watch a nice film for a couple of hours. If you do, CHILD SERVESIS will be called on your ass!

- Do NOT lie about your childs age to save $1.50 on the evening prices. All your doing is teaching your kid to be is dishonest. And your a horrible person for doing so.

- DO NOT SNEAK IN FOOD for the love of jesus. Im sorry, but if you want a beer or a stake or a hamburger or something else besides NACHOS, a Pretzel or popcorn, There are theaters around that do serve that type of shit for your movie experiance, but they are a drive, so unless your willing to to that far, do not bring in your stinky food. Your pissed that they dont serve coffee, GO RENT A FUCKING MOVIE and get your starbucks fix somewere else. A theater is not a fucking resturant.

- DO NOT TALK DURING A FILM! on a cell phone, to your friend, to your self. making MST3K cracks druing a film is only funny if its just you and your buds in a movie by yourselves. NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO +HEAR YOUR SHIT! Cell phone users will be beheaded.

- Do not go to a movie to make out with your significant other. No on wants to see your pre teen ass or anything else playing sucky face. Its dark in a theater, but not that dark. If you want to make out with out anyone watching, go to a fucking park at night and do it there.

- DO NOT DROP YOUR UNDERAGE KIDS OFF BY THEMSELVES to go see a movie! This is the same thing as bringing a baby to a movie. If your fucking kids are too much for you, get a fucking sitter and go out. A movie theater is NOT A FREE BABY SITTER! Giving them $50 and dumping them off with no prental supervison for a couple of hours makes you a HORRIBLE person and you should be shot and your kids hung for being assholes.

- PICK YOUR SHIT UP as you leave. A movie theater is not you house, and you have no RIGHT to trash it as so. Would you like it if someone came to yourhouse, threw gummy bears at your TV, spilled coke everywere, dumped popocorn on the floor and just took off. Hell then came back to complain about how messy your place is? Dont think so. Jsut because someone else has to clean up, dosnt give you the right to be a pig.

- Last, THEATERS arnt cheep now. Do not bitch about the prices of the tickets (even though they are high) and do not bitch that you can get a thing of red vines for half the price at the store. A theater is not a store, they make money on the concessions, YOU DONT WANT TO PAY FOR what they're selling, THEN DONT BUY IT!



Just follow these simple rules and be kind and allow others around you to enjoy the movie...GOOD or not.

I still hold this as true!

August 7th 2005

August 7, 2005 - Sunday

Everyones a drunk......
Current mood: exhausted

They are. Theres a huge problem with the people i know... lots of them are dunks....



I admit that i "drink" ocasionally, but not much (as my taste for booze never matured) But, fuck... just about every one i know drinks till their dumb.



Just about everyone in my 2 main circles of friends drink, my grandparents drink, my mom drinks, my cousin drinks, now it my brother and his friend.



And i get hassled on this part. My mom bitches to me about my brothers drinking, when i tell her that she drinks all the time.... But she complains to me about him drinking.. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!!!



All i am is the fucking responsible one, but i get shit for being that, yet everyone depends on me to be there to bail there ass out when they've done too much....





HEY. SOME ONE HAS TO BE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE!!!



If not, there would be a lot more shit going on.



So yeah...



I dont drink, but i hang out with everyone who dose....





same goes for the stoners too.......











Life is sure fucking odd like that......

Now, everyone is full of emotional problems besides the harsh drinking.

August 3rd 2005

August 3, 2005 - Wednesday

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT IM FULL OF HATE...............
Current mood: pissed off

And i am! SO FULL OF IT!!!!!



Not the racist
type of hate...... but a shared hatred for ALL PEOPLE!!! Well.. Not everyone...Just Groups and certin individuals. See... The last couple of months in my Condo Complex havent been the greatest... Back in May, my Car was broken into...A week to the day after my brother's car was broken into.... Then!!! 2 weeks after that happend, i come home at night to find NO PARKING SPACES in my complex cause several FORIGEN CARS are parked there.(We have a lot of MEXICANS living around here... I dont hate mexicans, but they do tend to allow more people than they should to live with them) So i park on the main street, which is WESTERN ST. I head out the next day to go to work when, LOW and BEHOLD! Some one felt that me having 2 side view mirrors was just too much, and proceeded to DESTROY! my DRIVER side mirror. Now that was almost 3 months ago.... Last week opend up a whole new can of shit.... See, our complex has an association... People who live here who run a mock board member like group, who, since life obviously didnt give them anything to do, decided to exert some little bit of power over the people who live in the complex. So when you move in, you have to sign some stuipd fucking form. Well, apparently, there are CERTIAN rules and criteria to just live around here. LIKE..."no parking infront of your garage" I can see that because it is a MINOR fire hazzard. Well, my brother parks there for about an hour or so cause there's no were else to park, and some one bitches about it. Well, 2 days later, we get a FEW more notices...they came in 2 envalopes, each one had 2 and 3 diffrent complaint forms in them. and they read like so: We have been informed that you have: LEFT YOUR WELCOME MAT HANG ON THE WALL IN THE FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE FOR MORE THAN A DAY YOU ARE COMING HOME AFTER MIDNIGHT YOU ARE SLAMMING THE DOOR YOU ARE BEING NOISY GOING UP AND DOWN YOUR STAIRS YOU ARE LEAVING YOUR TRASHCAN OUT MUCH TOO LONG AFTER PICK UP and every time you get something like this...Its gose on a STRIKE system. The door slamming was the SECOND STRIKE of the same complaint. Now, when i read these...I was a little annoyed. Because it was our neighbors...The ones with the 800 cats who crap in my flower bed, get into my garage and piss every were, who fight with the other neighbors cats and POSSUMS and sratch on the screen doors all night..BUT CANT POSSIBLY BE DISTERBING anyone...who "wrote" the complaints. This bugs me because they couldnt just walk 8 feet to my door, knock, and just ask to be a little quite or tell us what their problem with us is? It wouldnt bug me if they did it that way... I prefer to be upfront and formal that to just go bitch off to a faceless accociation. Because every time we get a complaint, our LAND LORD gets one too! Shes a little understanding about some of this stuff, but the womans also a friggin nutjob when it comes to CLEANLY NESS! So for the last several hours, everyone in my house has been scrubbing the place to make it look like no one ever lives here because thats the type of cleanlyness this woman likes, because she's coming by to talk to us about these complaints. So now my head hurts and im really pissed off. I hate the nieghborhood as it is...Now my neighbor's are really pissing me off because im now more than sure that these are the same assholes who called the cops on me for watching tv at 11 pm at night. Which brings me to a point on one of the subjects... Our landlord called to the association today..It turns out my neighbor is on said association. Our land lord told my mom, who told me, that the guy (who i think is talking on be half of his heffer bitch wife) donst like to be woken up at night because "its too hard to go back to sleep" Hence the bitching for coming in after midnight... But, there aint anything i can do about that because i WORK! He dosnt as he's fucking retired (the guys in his 70's) My job entails me to be there untill 1130 everynight that i work, sometimes PAST MIDNIGHT!! I get home usually after midnight because i usally go get somethign to eat, then im up for a couple of more hours because i couldnt do anything during the day because i was at WORK!! So i usually hit bed around 4 am mostly. But his fucking cats are keeping ME UP with their meowing and fucking fighting among each other!!! But no..apparently he's more important...so we all need to bow before him... WEll FUCK HIM! Hell, we dont even talk to the bastards! but their thrwoing a bitch fit over minor shit! That, and the idiots that come into my work....Its just a jolly fucking day out every time i stepinto the "REAL" world. I really fucking hate people...i wish a lot of them would just DIE!! at least the ones with no commonsense or who feel that they need everything spelled out for them.... Yeah...Lifes fucking great isnt it!

I'm still very bitter and angry, but find comedy in the more hateful things in life..

July 19th 2005

July 19, 2005 - Tuesday

I have returned from the MECCA!
Current mood: refreshed

I have spent the last 4 days (thrusday-sunday) in the holy land... SAN DIEGO! Comic Con to be more presice.



Spending the the week with my usuall posse, we packed up and headed down to the promise land, along with 20000 other people from around the world to celebrate GEEKDOME.

Thursday....Checked in, bought some merchandise, got to see the ADULT SWIM pitch panel (and possibly the coolest, most hatefull new show coming soon, MINORITEAM!) We then checked in to our hotel. ONLY DAY ONE!



FRIDAY!- Met BRUCE FUCKING CAMPBELL!!! Stood in line for an hour for his autograph, but now he and Sam Raimi have signed my EVIL DEAD dvd. SWEET!!!! Met JOHEN VASQUEZ (almost missed the other ADULT SWIM PANNEL, but the fates were with me this week, as i managed to get his autograph on my INVADER ZIM DVD and still got into the pannel) Got my AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE DVD signed by the creators. Perchased some Graphic Novels and a Chasing Amy poster. Got Jim Lee to sign my copy of BATMAN ALLSTARS and i got my Street Fighter comics signed by the artisist. Got some grub at IN and OUT and turned in for the night.

SATURDAY- Sat in one room ALL DAY (8 hours to be presice)

In this room i saw the following:

Charlize Theron pimp Aeon Flux

Kevin Smith Rant for an hour.

The cast of Firefly and Joss Weadon talk about Serinity

Kate Beckinsale talk about UNDERWORLD 2

Marke Steven Johnson show us what he's doing with GHOST RIDER

The cast of STEALTH (Jamie Foxx, Jessica Beil, and the guy from Sweet Home alabama) pimp their shit.

Peter Jackson Sent a video and 3 minutes of KING KONG, and i wet my pants at the TREX fight they showed. Then JACK BLACK, Naomi Watts and Adrian Brody came out and did Q and A.

THEN to cap off the night....at least on the panels, KEVIN SMITH came out and introduced the greastest band in the world..TENACIOUS D!!! who preceeded to ROCK THE FUCKING HOSE DOWN!!!!!!! In the sweetest set of music made by the hands of man.

I then went upstairs to watch the costume masqurade. Back at the hotel and caught some ZZZ.

SUNDAY- The day i did all of my main buying. I purcahsed a BATTLE ROYALE 1 and 2 dvd set. GODZILLA FINAL WARS Monster X figure, a HE MAN Bust (46/3500), The rest of JOHEN VASQUEZE's books, Back issues of various comics i needed, Battle Royale vol. 13, Godzilla Mogura figure. and a KEVIN SMITH Comic Con Exclusive figure. I took pics and left the land of milk and honey, a little sad, but much better for the time i had.

I met many people, i did many things, and for my 11 conceutive comic con in a row, it was probably one of the best i've been to.



July 2006 cannot get here any faster.

This was probably the best Con year I've ever had. The following years have been hard to match.

July 13th 2005

July 13, 2005 - Wednesday

Tomarrow, i return to mecca!
Current mood: excited

YES. After another shitty year of filler, I FINALLY GET TO RETURN TO MECCA... A.K.A SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!



This is the one time of the year i can be around MY PEOPLE, The geeks, nerds, assholes and lovers of genra materail, as we all converge onto one speck in the universe to bitch, complain, drink, laugh and LOVE!



Were it dosnt matter what race you are, how skinny or fat you are, it just depends if you can talk the talk and back it up.



A place were you can buy the bootleg copy of KUNG FU HUSTLE (origianl hong kong version) and a stack of PETER PARKER: THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER MAN for $5.

Comic Con was early that year.....

July 11th 2005

July 11, 2005 - Monday

Interesting....This is the story of my fucking life.
Current mood: tired

I found this little essay to be quite amusing, yet painfully true.

"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” OR THE MOST FRUSTRATING OF THEM ALL: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."



A story i know ALL too fucking well. But i know for a fact that women, no matter how "Good" they are, always want an asshole and to be treated like shit from said asshole. They put themselve through this for the longest time because DEEP fucking down, they get off on it. A woman, for some God only knows reason, likes to be fucked with (in both senses). They then bitch about it, and put themselves through hell over it, but they stay with said asshole. They want to be treated nice, and told that their beautiful and all that shit, but deep down, they want to be treated like a red headed step child. Used and Abused (physically and menatlly) Now there are always exceptions to everything, and there are women out there who know excatly what they want, but the rest, well, they claim not to be, but they are shallow beings only wanted to be fucked over again and again.

And for us "Good" guys, we must play along with GOD's crule design.

I had cut and pasted that little essay and added my own little take on it. It still kinda rings true today. Women love assholes!

July 4th 2005

July 4, 2005 - Monday

My Ass got WORKED....
Current mood: exhausted

Couple of hours ago, I boxed my friend Joey at another friends house. Friendly fight mind you, and a REMATCH from about 2 years ago ( I WON, but he was drunk at the time). Well, being the person that i am, ACHING to fight someone ( i have a lot of aggression) i jumped at the chance to box. Well, 2 years, a lot has changed. IM now 50 lbs heavier, not to mention that i havent done anything really physical in a long ass time. Also, earlier in the night, i had a 40 ounce choclate shake, and JOEY's lady Alica said i had to take a double shot to even out the match (Joey had been drinking all night, but wasnt drunk) So, on a full stomach, now filled with 2 shots of Tequila 1 mintue before i go out, i box.

and i got worked.

I admit it, i got worked.



I got maybe 3 good shots in, but Joey landed the frist good punch to the head, spun me, and a couple of seconds to kick in, and i went down. Not hard. But i got some sense as to how hard of a punch Joey throws. I get back up and go at it. Several shots later, im out of breath, and ready to throw up ( combo of being winded and the Tequila coming back up) So I ended the match. Joey and i shook and that was that.

But now i realize just how bad im out of shape. I didnt last 3 mintues boxing my friend, and i still got worked. I barley blocked and i was pulling back most of the fight. Maybe now is the time to really look at getting back in to some sort of physical conditon that dosnt involve me gasping for breath ever time i jog 10 feet and i can wear regular LARGE shirts again.


I dont mind the SIZE im at, its the poor condition and excess flab.

Not to mention the Ego took yet another blow tonight.

I never did get a rematch

June 1st 2005

June 1, 2005 - Wednesday

R.I.P. Movie Town
Current mood: sad
It was a sad, sad day in my life today.... I lost my video store....Movie Town in Anahime. It burnd down after the DryCleaners 2 shops down caught fire. SO MANY TITLES were destroyed.... Now...i have to go out and find another video store...but it wont be as cool as MOVIE TOWN...

That Place was never the same after it opend

May 31st 2005

May 31, 2005 - Tuesday

Its all about the shorties!
Current mood: crappy

Mother of GOD! What a fucking week...

Star Wars opend.... And my work got it......

So for the last week.. I have been working horrible hours..and dealing with the lowest of life..... Something the circus wouldnt even take...

Then...We got Madagasacar at work...... THE CHILDREN....Horrible.

The country's going to hell...and its going to be because parents bought their children all of the unessisary crap that they dont need.... LIKE SHOES WITH FUCKING WEELS BUILT IN!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT....I CANT STAND THOSE GOD DAMN THINGS....And another thing...DO 9 year olds REALLY NEED A GODDAMN CELL PHONE???????? These kids are fucking spolied!!!! And their all assholes to boot!!! Not to mention that i've seen couples in my work that obvioulsy find COMDOMS and other forms of birth control offensive...Hell i saw a couple that looked no older that 18 with 2 kids...(trust me...they belonged to them) Not to mention the whitest of the WHITE TRASH (mullets and missing teeth in all) with children.( why do the uglest of people feel that they need to breed the most?) Oh..and lets not for get the MExicans.... Ones that speak broken english and have 7 kids (all within a year apart of each other mind you) who like to show up almost a half hour late for the movie...Buy the tickets.. then spend another half hour buying food (its tough when you cant add.. so you dont know that buying3 small drinks and a medium popcorn is more expensive than buying 2 large drinks and a LARGE popcorn...but they're special apparently) then going in to the movie...Mid show.. and be as loud as hell before finally finding a seat.



Top that off with LIttle sleep... and my friend trying to kill herself...and you can just call it a jolly week in my life........





AH...gotta love it......

I was getting to my wits end at the theater by this point

May 14th 2005

May 14, 2005 - Saturday

HOLLYWOOD! Were the freaks play!
Current mood: uncomfortable
Hollywood. What a wonderful place. I try to visit when ever possible (and seeing as how my car is in shitty condition right now, the vistis are few and far between) But when i do go up there, i usually hang out on Hollywood blvd. Were Gramans and the walk of fame are. Theres a theater up there called the EGYPTIAN that hosts a bunch of cool movies all the time that i like to go see. Well, usually, when im done with the movie, i wander around hollywood for a while. Well, if you've never been to Hollywood, let me explain whats around there. Hollywood Blvd (that area of it at least) is usually filled with TOURIST on the weekends, the rest of the time, during the day, its people going about their busniess, at night, its a mixture of Party people, Bums, or dead beat teens to mid 20 somethings posing as bums.and then the freaks.. THE ALL MIGHTY FREAKS. These ppl blend in with the bum crowd, but what seperates them is usually their attire of clothing or behavior.. Some rave and jabber about. Some are compleatly sane and do it for the attention. Like people who dress up and battle as ROBOTS...Or clowns ordering coffee. TONIGHT though.. TOOK THE CAKE on FREAKS in HOLLYWOOD. Some friends of mine and i went to a wrestling show in Hollywood tonight (PWG) Cool show, shitty end to a mainevent though. Well, the show ended about 1230 am and we left. We head out on Sunset Blvd....While driving...we notice a biker (on a bycicle) We got closer and noticed it was A GIANT RABBIT on a bike!!!! We pull over and he stops in front of our car. He leans forward and says in the most CREEPY, MONO TONE VOICE "whats up" Well, almost eveyone in the car pissed themselve. I took a really shitty pic, and a second thing on a bike stoped near us. I yelled "THE HELL IS THAT' and the rabbit said "Thats my friend...THE polar bear" in a creepy mono tone voice....Well we were al lfreaked out a little by this time...Before we left, the rabbit said something like "Dont do shrooms.. unless you want to (iluadable)" Well, we left, kinda creeped out by some people in GIANT ANIMAL COSTUMES in hollywood. Ah...what a great place.

I enjoy Hollywood, but yeah, theres an endless supply of freaks there.

May 11th 2005

May 11, 2005 - Wednesday

ASS RIMING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: angry
WELL, last week, my brothers car was broken into, THIS WEEK, IT ME!!! The fuckers poped my window, took my cdplayer (they didnt get my brothers) YET they decided not to take anything else (CDs, movies and other stuff) which proves that these guys are dumbasses beyond belif. I CANT FUCKING STAND THIS FUCKING TOWN OF STANTON CA. FUCKING DIRTY, FUCKING ASSHOLE, FUCKING DISHONEST FUCKING TRASH AND FILTHY FUCKING MEXICANS (not all of them, but around here, there are a lot of asshole mexicans) GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate thives

.

I really fucking hate thieves

May 6th 2005

May 6, 2005 - Friday

Another reason i fucking hate living in this country
Current mood: pissed off
Tshirt hell took down its worse than hell section. The owner has bitched out about "offending" people and took off the worse than hell shirts. He's donating money to certin groups to make up for selling the shirts. I CANT FUCKING BELIVE THIS SHIT. A site that prouds its self on crazy and offending shirts gets a fucking guilt trip. I never got to order shirts i've had my eye on: HighSchool Shooting Tour Like him or hate him, Hitler killed a lot of jews I SURFFD THE TSUNAMI I plane NY Jesus did it for the chicks Rape is no laughing matter (unless your raping a clown) and the latest one i liked MY MEXICAN WORKS HARDER THAN YOUR MEXICAN. This is fucking bullshit in my opnion. Im sick of this type of shit were everyone has to be carful about what they say about others so that they dont offend them. FUCK. I didnt even get the Highschool shooting tour shirt to wear to a get together at my old HS. What may be offensive to one is funny to another. This is apparently american, Land of Free speach. Unless its offensive or gose against the ideals of others who have more say than you. FUCK THAT. Look. I dont care if im offending you. I get offended all the time. But you know what. I get over it. When i die or do something fucking stupid, im sure there will be those who get a kick out of it. And you know what. Let them. They apparently find something wrong with me, then fine, thats them. They have free will, let them think what they want. Thats what i do.

People need to learn to lighten up.

May 5th 2005

May 5, 2005 - Thursday

BOOZE..MANS OLDEST FOE!!
Current mood: drained
BOOZE!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING JOKE! In the last week or two, i've had to break up fighting among my friends. Other friends getting hammerd and making phone calls across the nation, and Dragging other off the floors of bar bathrooms. I, personally, havent ever got hammerd. And after this week, i think it'll take a HELL OF A LOT of persuasion to get me to get hammerd. I mostly have to play DD on most of the nights when these partyfests happen. Although its a pain in the ass, i'd rather be the sober, incontrol, responsible one, than the jackass who makes a fool out of himself and dose something stupid. And i know most of you are going to say. "well you dont know how to have fun. Your straight edge. Your a loser" Well, i've witness first hand the IDOTIC mistakes ones make while drunk. I'd currently be a loser whos making sure that others arnt killing each other while plasterd than to be in on the meele.

I hadnt started drinking yet. This was still that point in life where if you drank, you got smashed as fast as you can and did stupid shit. I played the responsible one for the longest time before I said fuck it and started drinking.

May 4th 2005

May 4, 2005 - Wednesday

SCURVEY SWINE AND RAT BASTARDS!!!!
Current mood: pissed off
UNFUCKING BELIVABLE. I know offically hate my fucking neighborhood. Last night, between 2 and 5 am, some assholes broke into my brother's car.THey broke the lock to the driver door (Looked like a screwdriver and hammer combo) Ransacked the car, took a bass guitar, all of his cds (that were in a book at least) and, even though this was stupid on my bro's part, took his wallet out of the car too. BUT THEY EMPTIED THE WALLET OF EVERYTHING SANS DRIVERS LICANSE!!!! They tried to take the CD player, but i guess they couldnt get the damn thing out before being caught. They pannel with the cd player has been stabed at with a screwdriver. All of this happend while the car was parked right next to our garage! If theres one thing i hate more than anything else in the world, its theives. I CANT FUCKING STAND THEM. Anyone who fucking steals blatinly is a grade A ass fuck in my book. AND if i ever find out who did this (i live in Stanton, its probably some dirty fucking MEXICAN ASSHOLES ((and im not saying that as a bash on the mexican people in general, but like 80% of the crime around here is caused mostly from young mexican guys who dont have anything better to do but fuck with other people. HELL, one of them was tagging off of the 91 at beach the other day according to my bro)) BUT In my neighborhood, i wouldnt put it past it that one of them staked out my place before hand. So im ROYALLY PISSED right now. And i wish horrible, slow, painful cancer and very painful Gonnariea on the bastards.

This was the start of a rash of car break in's in my neighborhood at the time. It made me paranoid and my displeasure with Mexicans reached new highs.

April 18th 2005

April 18, 2005 - Monday

Women, my friends, and swimming!
Current mood: drained
The last couple of weeks have been.... interesting and agervating. Basicly, i've come to realize all of my friends (sans a select few) are fucking nuts. They're either drunk off something, having promiscuious sex, or in a horrible fit of depression over a non exisitant love life. Too much fucking drama. Which segways to my next point: WOMEN! God's own toruture rack. They work men horribly, yet we cannot resist, and are many times broken horribly by them. They complain about not finding a good guy, when there are many good guys out there. Not only this, but they choose the assholes who fuck them around and take full advantage of them. Lovely creatures they are. Oh, and on a side topic, i have now taken up swimming to shed some really unwanted poundage. Im to fucking fat for my own good. Plus, i plan to film my movie in september, and i would like to be in it. So if i do, i want to look good.

I'm still swimming, but still fat. This was written during the peak of the great ROBIN/CHARLES/ELISABETH drama that I got caught in the middle of. There was a slow turn in my though process that started here.

March 28th 2005

March 28, 2005 - Monday

shit.....LIfes movin on...so were the hell am i going?
Current mood: frustrated
In the past month, I have had 4 friends decide to move out of A) Their parents place B) The state. Seems everyone is getting on with their life, actually going out and doing something (even if it is as small as moving out), So what the fuck am i doing? im 21, still living at home. No Girlfriend, and not much on the horizon. Im still working the same job i was 5 years ago (mostly because i've chosen to.) but i have $0 in the bank. Its a pain in the ass to get anything started, and i dont want to go work another job for more cash, cause i dont want to get caught up with aquiring bills and shit, because i still intend to start making movies, which no one belives that i will do. So, im stuck in a sort of limbo right now. I aint moving forward, as everyone else is, but im not going back to anything. So, right now, im fucked.

Not much has changed.. I did move out, but moved back in with the family after my roommates moved to texas. I have more than $10 bucks in the bank, but not more than $150 at the moment. I've gotten bills paid, but not fast enough.. Plus it seems that I bitch about the same shit every other day back then too.

March 20th 2005

March 20, 2005 - Sunday

I've come to the conclusion that im cursed (or some shit like that)
Current mood: contemplative
I have been thinking over the last couple of days about my lack of a love life (lack, ok theres NONE) I disscused this with a couple of friends of mine over an early morning breakfest at 3 am at dennys. Now since High School, there was a small little incedent (im not going into it) But lets just say that there was a girl that liked me, but i didnt feel the same way. Well, ever since then, even when i come remotely close to either A) asking a girl out B) finding out a chick is into me. Some short of shit happens. Its too odd and detailed to go over every incedent, but lets just say that i think that i've been cursed or at least have some bad Jew-Jew put on me to never obtain a girlfriend, or at the very least, get laid. and because of this, my family thinks im gay. They cant comprehend why i dont have a Girlfriend. But in the generalization of things, i've learnd that Chicks dont dig big, loud, guys who simply just like the simpler things in life. ( ok, so i watch cartoons still) But in those Rare occasions in which i think i might be able to even ask a chick out, something happens to prevent it. So yeah. I hate my life! YEAY!!!!

I still joke that I'm under some sort of curse after turning that girl down in highschool. My self confidence hasnt risen much and my love life never got into any sort of gear. Though, I'm not so angry and bitter about it now.

March 8th 2005

March 8, 2005 - Tuesday

Ahhh. 21.
Current mood: contemplative
So, in the last week or so, i've had an extended celebration of my 21st bday. I am now legal to get drunk and buy myself a gun (Yeehaw) I Had the family dinner, then i did my little shindig at a buddies house to film my tv show. Then i went to Vegas over the weekend with a friend of mine. Had fun. Gambled, Drank and saw a show. So now what. Now that im 21, the hell do i do?? I've done many thing (except a lady) But now i actually need to get off my ass and do something with myself. I want to start making movies. But $$$ and lack of actors are the tough part. Oh, and finally get a GF. Many obsticals, many delimmas. Ah to be an adult.
Currently watching:

I was overly obsessed at the time with getting a girlfriend. I'm 25 now and still haven't done much with my life..and have come to even more realizations about life and mortality..shiver...

March 4th 2005

March 4, 2005 - Friday

GOING TO VEGAS TOMARROW!!!!
Current mood: happy
Hooray for me.....

My true love of Vegas started here.

February 27th 2005

February 27, 2005 - Sunday

I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD TO GO FUCK ITS SELF UP ITS STUIPD ASS
Current mood: nauseated
It like 2 in the morning right now. I have to get up in a couple of hours to go build a ring that EVERYONE is telling me that i wont get built. All im trying to do is film one little simple backyard wrestling show. Yet, its been a HUGE PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS. And yet, if i cant get one simple little thing like a backyard wrestling show going, HOW THE FUCK AM I EVER GOING TO GET A FUCKING MOVIE MADE. I feel as if the world wants to see me fail and be misierable forever.

the second to last backyard wrestling show I ever did. The stress I put on myself was stuipd and really, the guys who wrestled really gave to shits if they were there or not.

February 11th 2005

February 11, 2005 - Friday

What I want for my BDAY!!
Current mood: sleepy
My bday is a little under 2 weeks away. I've figured out what i want. Its not much as Im turning 21 so im being realistic. 1. CASH$$$$$$ and lots of it. 2. DVD's (Mainly BATMAN the animated series, Some Anime, and other stuff) 3. The breaks on my car fixed 4. and in the words of HESH: SEX! Not much, but thats what i want.

I ended up buying those Batman DVD's off ebay, and actually got one for my Birthday. The breaks were eventually fixed, but I did not get any sex...

February 11th 2005

February 11, 2005 - Friday

THE WORLD CAN GO FUCK ITS SELF!
Current mood: crappy
Yeah. Thats about it. It can just go fuck its self up its stupid fucking ass.

I dont remember what I was so pissed about.

February 9th 2005

February 9, 2005 - Wednesday

FUCKIN SHIT......a story of a madman
Current mood: crappy
I just got home from sitting at a all night restuant for 5 hours talking with my friend and his girlfriend. We all had a MAN MEAL and i had chicken too! So its like 5 am now. And im thinking of all the crap coming up and its giving me a headach. First off, i havent collected all the money i need to build a wrestling ring for my move/tv show, and im suppose to film the thing on the 27th of this month. Next is Valientines day, or YEAY, your 20 and still havent ever had a girlfriend REMINDER DAY! So same shit as last year and the year before. But this year its not as bad as a freind of mine is coming in from out of town and another friend of mine is coming up from Oceanside and we're going to hang out, but still....Its just another crule reminder that i aint got much going for me right now. Then in 3 weeks, its my 21st bday. I need to get my license changed soon so when they reissue it, i dont have to pay twice or go through any shit. (as i never changed my lincens when i moved) So i can go to vegas the next week and not be hassled. So yeah, that and a lot of other shit i just dont feel like dealing with that i have to deal with. Aint life grand..............

Well, the girlfriend thing never changed, but my first time hanging out at Mae's cafe was to become a more critical part of my relationship with my friends.

February 3rd 2005

February 3, 2005 - Thursday

DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or is it.
Current mood: accomplished
No. Not really. Actually, its quite the opposite. I opend an EBAY sellers account the other day so i could start clearing out some of the crap i dont need any more, and so far, things have been going good. I've already sold 2 items in the last couple of days. YEAY!!!!!!! GO. CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!!! its under the seller's name: silentmallrat Only 3 weeks till my 21st bday!

In the end, I made a decent amount of money off ebay, just wished I had the sense to save some of it.

January 24th 2005

January 24, 2005 - Monday

A weird sense of reality.
Current mood: numb
its about 5 am. I worked 10 hours stratit yesterday at my job on little more than 3 hours sleep. I came home and craped out for about an hour or two. Now, i cant really fall back to sleep Im tired, but not tired. And since i've gone this long with out any real sleep, I feel like Im watching myself type this right now from a distance. My head is light, but Im still conciseness of what Im doing. Its odd. I guess this is what its kinda like to be high. But at the same time, Im starting to see things. Flashes of light out of the corner of my eye when Im concentrating on something else. I'm starting to wander off a little, and for some reason, stupid thoughts seem more applicable right now. Theres a bunch of things on my mind i would like to ask or say to certin people, and part of me really wants to, but the last little bit of awarness is telling me: BAD IDEA. Which is probably for the best. But, then again, what would it hurt. If i fuck up, i could just blame it on my lack of sleep and exsaustion due to work. Which, btw, i have to be up for in like 6 hours. But the damnest thing is though, and this happens all the time i get like this ( i have no real sense of time anymore, just fall asleep when i feel like it) But when i dozed off hours earlier, I had very vivid dreams that i remember clearly. They were nice dreams in my own personal sense, and felt very, very real too, untill i snaped myself awake. Then i had to tell my brain that it wasnt real. Its odd.... it really is. But yet, still i go. And what have i done in these early hours. I've downloaded music and videos and sat infront of my comp waiting for MYSPACE to come back up because i had nothing better to do. But i had many things to do though.... Like finish my script, write the new script for my TV show, which i have to film tomarrow night before i return to the cable station. But, i sat around, looked at my half finished screenplay, did nothing to it, and looked over some porn and started working on a new CD to listen to. What a waste of fucking time. Yet, i realize that this is all i've been doing for the last month or so, and i've never reallly realized it untill now. I come home, sit on the net for hours, crap out, get up and start the same shit over again. This has also brought to my attention that since i've been doing this, i've kinda let myself go even more, and that i really need to start focusing on the more important shit in my life than dicking around on the net, looking for something thats not there. But, I keep going though. Like im on AUTO PILOT or something. Nothing in my life changes, just a diffrent day, same shit. Fuck, i tried to put on a wrestling belt, that only a year earlier fit perfectly, now wont even wrap halfway around my waist. The gorgeing needs to stop, yet i have no reason too cause my outlook on a love life is slim to nill, yet thats what i really want right now. Hell, just sex would tied me over, maybe snap me out of my trance. But no, that is not reality. Reality is this which i sit at whie i type this for the 10 or so people who'll actually read this. Me, infont of a computer, room clutterd, and nothing forward looking but another crappy day. What a crazy fucked up world im making for myself....

This was while I was still working at the theater, with no real set schedule. I would stay up till 5 or 6 in the morning before getting a few hours of sleep. My dicking around, though, hasn't changed much, and 4 years later, I'm still working on those scripts.

January 20th 2005

January 20, 2005 - Thursday

I want to fight.
Current mood: restless
You know, there are some times when you just get pumped up. Or some times when you get pissed, and you just want to go and throw down with some one. I get like that. Its not like im going to act on these impulses, but there are certin people i would love to just kick the crap out of. Then, there are some times i would just like to fight some one just to see if i could beat them or not. I dont know. Maybe i've been playing street fighter one to many times. Or im just angery all the time. First Rule of Fight Club................

My rare tough guy faze..

January 23rd 2005

January 23, 2005 - Sunday

HESH WANTS SOME SEX!
Current mood: awake
But im not Hesh. No, I am but a mear mortal who has to be up in 5 hours to go and strip floors and paint an emergency exit at my work cause a water pump broke and one of the theaters flooded and bussiness cant run untill the gay ass building inspector approves everything. Oh yeah, Im looking forward to that. Not only that, but i have to get my lincenes changed soon, or i'll have to retake the fucking DMV test, which i dont feel like. But i have a few gelms of hope in my life. Since i dont have any chance with a woman any time soon, I have my projects to look forward too. Yesterday i opend my Pay pal account, and hopefully by the end of the week, my ebay sellers account should be up and i should be making some extra bank from my old shit i dont want anymore. That, and i found a wresting ring for a reasonable price that i must attain. And my TV show is coming along nicely.

Oh..the perils of being 20

January 20, 2005 - Thursday

January 20, 2005 - Thursday

YOUR AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!!!!!!
Current mood: bored
At least i think you are! No. Anyway. My head line has nothing to do with my robot bee, which, btw, is an expencive pice of machinery. Actually, my headline is really nothing. so is this blog... so why did you read this... Did you think i knew that you were actually after my Robot Bee? ARE YOU?

I was in the throws of my INVADER ZIM obsession, and had nothing to write about.

January 9, 2005 - Sunday

January 9, 2005 - Sunday

WHY CANT THINGS BE FUCKING SIMPLE!!!!
Current mood: irritated
You know. All i ask for is for things that are remedial to be simple. But no. Things cant. You know why, Cause there inst money to be had in shit being simple. Why cant my fucking web pages load in under 4 mintues. No cant have that. Why cant the fuckers running things use their heads, NO cant have that either. Why cant fucking HOT DOGS AND HOT DOG BUNS COME IN THE SAME NUMBERS WHEN BEING SOLD IN SEPERATE PACKAGES!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!

I think that a customer at work gave me shit this day.. I don't remember.

January 9, 2005 - Sunday

January 9, 2005 - Sunday

Its raining!!!
Current mood: busy
And sometimes...Im only happy when it rains. Not because Im a walking ball of depression, but because i really like the band GARBAGE.. and it reminds me of their song..... Um..Fresh.

Garbage is my all time favorite band. It was raining out at the time, and I felt the need to write...

January 7, 2005 - Friday

January 7, 2005 - Friday

Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Volcanos and California....
Current mood: contemplative
What do thay all have in common. Theyre all disasters. Yet, i cannot peel my eyes away from them. (well, except california, cause i live here) But i dont know. I've been downloading and watching amature video of the Tsunami's for the last week now, and i cant get my eyes off of them. I do this with Tornado and Volcano video too, or some other type of natural disaster. Theres just something about them that fuels me in some weird way. Not in a sick, sexual fetish, but in "mother fucker, i cant belive this shit but i must see more" way. One of the video's i have is from a person in Indonesia (right next to were the quake hit) and this person walks to their 2nd story balcony and video tapes what looks like a TOWN DROP IN THE MIDDLE OF A FRIGGIN OCEAN. Its ungodly unbeliveable. Another video is from further away from the main earthquake zone, but its an american guy on a beach watching as the WAVE forms only a mile off coast and heads right for him. One other one was a view on top of a roof in Phuket Tailand as the wave crashed onshore and tore apart the coast line, as people ran running and screaming. It really puts things into perspective. But as people, we may think we have a lot of things in control, but honestly, we dont. All of the video, especailly Tailand and Indonesia all looks like WRATH OF GOD style shit. Just the fact that all of this happens the day after christmas, this wide range of destruction, its so unbelivable that its more real to me in some real sense. Maybe its because i grew up watching movies were giant monsters destroyed cities or the fact i've had a healty diet of Tornado video and Earthquake experiance that i've come to look forward to the next disaster and disect it piece by piece. Hell, even during the 9/11 attacks, i was more focused on the actuall destruction and mayhem than the actuall outcome of the events. People running and screaming for their lives as a force thats out of their hands, YET not a LIVING FORCE, tears right for them, seems horrible, yet a suddle underline of poetic substances dwells within it. This stuff like this that makes me belive that theres a higher force at work sometimes. This is why i dont like going to the beach at night. You wouldnt know something like this is coming untill it hit you.

This was written about a week after the big tsunami that hit the Indian Ocean. The videos were just starting to come out and I was fascinated to no ends by them. I still have a weird obsession with large scale disasters though.

January 3, 2005 - Monday

January 3, 2005 - Monday

I've started working on a new script.
Current mood: busy
Im now writing a new script. Its for a short film i plan on filming it for the cable station that i do some projects at. Hopefully it'll give me some much needed experiance before i film my major film this summer.

The script was an idea for a faux superhero I came up with in senior year of highschool called HOBOMAN. I actually wrote the thing, I just never filmed it.

December 30, 2004 - Thursday

December 30, 2004 - Thursday

The End of the Year...God did i hate it.
Current mood: aggravated
Well, 2004 is just about over. Yep what a fucking year it was too. What happend. 04 had such promise. Shit was gonna turn around. Things were gonna get better, but NO! Every thing kinda fell to shit, or just went up and fucking down like a goddamn roller coaster. And its always a great way to start off the new year by finding out one of your best friends died of cancer. And that you feel like a sack of shit for not talking to her at least one more time when you had the chance. My Car broke down, twice!! Theres hundreds of more dollers in fucking repairs to a car that's barly running. Now i cant even drive the fucker long distances with out my back break smoking from friction (because my mom only had the FRONT breaks replaced, normaly, i thought when one gets one's cars' breaks fixed, YOU GET THEM ALL DONE AT ONCE, that and she spent the rest of the repair money on minor shit for her car, while mines left hanging) I get more shit from my family about getting a FULL time job. This magical Job were i work 40 plus hours a week, with Benifits and a 12$ pluse wage. Yeah, cause getting caught in to the mundane life of EVERYONE ELSE is excatly what i want to do with my life. Work a fucking job i hate for the sake of FINANCIAL SECURITY! Fuck that My friends Grandparents Died. My brother moved out, which was the best thing for a while, only to move back in 4 months later. My Grandma has cancer again. Yipie... I hate the people at my job. They get more aholish and fucked up as the days pass. I WAS FUCKED OUT OF TICKETS FOR WRESTLEMAINA!!!!! I had the HARDEST FUCKING TIME just trying to do some of the simplest things i wanted to do. Everyone mocks my attempt into making movies. I made 9 grand this year, but only have 120$ in the bank to show for it. I got Fucked out of Holloween. One of my Favorite Holidays Bush got fucking re elected. Yeay >:( MOVIE TICKETE PRICES WENT TO 10 FUCKING DOLLERS!!!! I Got fucked out of meeting Robert Rodriguz at Comic Con. Oh, and just like every year before this, I still cant get a girlfriend if someone had a fucking BAZOOKA TO MY BIG ASS HEAD. Thats the stinger that gets worse and worse as the years go by. Well, 2005, im going to be 21. Lets hope to christ that this year is somewhat better.

2004 was a big shitty year, but some of those things I rambled off on were really trivial in the long run of things.

December 29, 2004 - Wednesday

December 29, 2004 - Wednesday

New Years....
Current mood: content
Whats everyone doing. Me.. IM going to work, get off, get my video camera, film my friends getting drunk, go to my uncles house for some FLASH FRIED turkey, say goodby to this fucked up year, then watch my friends drink some more

New Years at my Uncles started the year before this. He went hunting in Texas and shot a couple of wild turkeys. For New Years he fried one up and fuck me, was it tasty. We've done this dance ever since.

December 29, 2004 - Wednesday

December 29, 2004 - Wednesday

Some movies i think everyone should see!!!
Current mood: nerdy
I just bought a fuck load of DVD'S. But i was going through my movie collection. So here are some movies i think everyone should go out and see. Royal Tenenbaums Bubba Ho-Tep Versus They Live Ichi the killer Dead or Alive Battle Royale Big Trouble in Little China Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas The Crow And maybe i'll post some more later, but im done right now.

Most are in my top 10 of my all time favorite films

December 28, 2004 - Tuesday

December 28, 2004 - Tuesday

Life sucks pt 2
Current mood: depressed
It dose. It really dose. I feel i cant catch a break with anyone lately. Oh well, fuck it. Im going to sleep now.

Being bitchy again. I think I was pissed because I found out a girl I liked was dating some other guy... Oh.. youth!

December 28, 2004 - Tuesday

December 28, 2004 - Tuesday

I got new dvds today
Current mood: content
I went out and bought a bunch of DVD's with my gift cards today. Heres what i got SeaLab vol. 1 Cutey Honey complete collection Ed Wood Sp. Ed. Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. They Live Ichi the Killer and i also got The Royal Tennbaums Good times.

I've since amassed a collection of 700 dvd's

December 27, 2004 - Monday

December 27, 2004 - Monday

Life sucks......
Current mood: blank
So eat, drink and be merry and yell out FUCK The world to everyone!

This is me being a whiny fuck. I was feeling lonely....

December 27, 2004 - Monday

December 27, 2004 - Monday

Even during the holidays, You cant get rid of assholes!
Current mood: cranky
At work today, this fucking bitch, couldnt be no more than 23 tops, comes in. My boss acidently sold her a wrong ticket, but it dosnt really matter as there are only 2 fucking theaters at my work. So anyway she and her dykie friend go in and sit down. Now mind you, once the movies starts, theres like 80 people in the theater. About 4 minutes into the previews, she comes out bitching about how loud it is in the theater. My boss tells her excatly what he tells every other person over the age of 80 how complains of the sound. 1. its a digital sound system, so its gonna be loud. 2. Its mostly the trailers, which are more flashy and the sound mix is higer than the acutal movie (its a way to gain interest to the movie goer to adventualy go see said film) So she gose back in to the theater. 3 minutes later, she comes back out with her friend and demands her money back. Now the preveiws arent even over yet, but no, she has to have her money back. My boss explains again the preview situation and informs her that we dont give refunds unless the movie breaks down (STUDIO POLICY) So she starts getting bitchy and pissy. So my boss figures its better to give her money back and not listen to her make a scene. As he's giving both her and her friends money back, he's calmly, CALMLY going back over the the sound situation. But she gets even bitchier. I tell her that shes should of waited to ACTUALLY SEE THE FUCKING MOVIE before she came out to demand her money back. She starts bitching about the tone we're taking with her, she's saying that we're talking to her like a kid. My boss says that excalty how she acting. She gets even bitchier saying we have no idea what she's been through today. My boss tells her that should have nothing to do with this. She blows up, tells him he's a prick and to fuck off. Both my boss, me and my brother asll say "What a bitch" as she's walking out the door. Obviously she herd it and skiped away with her dyke friend. Even during the holidays, assholes dont take breaks And to top that off, my alergies are acting up again. FUCK MAN, i cant catch a break!!!! I need hard drugs or a woman... or a gun. something. Happy new year!

My allergies were acting up, so I was in the throws of sheer misery. To top of the night with this cunt was just icing on the cake.

December 26, 2004 - Sunday

December 26, 2004 - Sunday

What i got for Xmas!
Current mood: happy
Well, christmas has come and gone, and now, we all look forward to new years. What did i do for my christmas? I got an hour of sleep, cooked breakfast for my grandparents, opend my presents, wandered around for a couple of hours, went to my uncles for a family get together, then went to work, got off, went by the grandparents place, Then went to my buddies house, then picked up my buddy from work, picked up some other friends, went to the movies and saw the LIFE AQUATIC (WHICH RULED ALL MIGHTY ASSES!!!!!!! :)) Went back to buddies place, watched Harlod and Kumar go to white castle, then came home and put up my new poster frames, WITH POSTERS IN THEM!!!!!!!!!!! Now on to what you all want to hear. WHAT KIND OF SHIT DID I GET!! Heres what i got: 3 movie poster frames Van Helsing DVD Spiderman 2 DVD Pulp Fiction DVD Clerks inaction figures Best Buy Gift cards some money Idel Hands DVD Yep. Purtty cool. Now to complete my Christmas holiday, i want a woman!!! Yeah, then life would be compleatly grand.

I was high off of Christmas and Wes Anderson.. life was good.

December 25, 2004 - Saturday

December 25, 2004 - Saturday

MY ROOM IS FINALLY DONE! JUST IN TIME FOR XMAS!!!
Its like 5 am. The room that i have been working on for like a week now is finally complete! It just has to be vaccumed. I had to finish in time for my Grandparents to come over later for Breakfast. Its a Christmas tridition here in EATON mannor. But my room IS CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i've put more posters up finally!!! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shows you how slow and lazy I am. It took me a WEEK to fully clean my room.

December 24, 2004 - Friday

December 24, 2004 - Friday

Crappy Patriotism makes me sick
Current mood: annoyed
I managed to watch some of the VERY SPECIAL SMACKDOWN in Iraq episode tonight. I couldnt stand the overtures of everything. First of, these guys are in IRAQ, yet the american fucking flag is splatterd over everything. They make it seem as AMERICA now owns IRAQ. (which, its looking like we do, lets be honest here) and they keep goign over and over how these guys are hero's. HOW the FUCK are people who signed up to have their life run for them. Now are going out and doing the dirty work of the Goverment who fucked up the whole thing. I just cant stand it. Its just, fuck. It makes my head hurt. Im going to sleep now. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVERYONE!

I was shit deep into pro wrestling at the time, but my love of it was starting to fade. The product wasn't the same as it once was, and I was at this point, overly bitter about a lot of things. Though I did claim to know a lot of stuff that I only had a vague idea about. My stance of patriotism was in full swing, and I still stand by it today.

December 23, 2004 - Thursday

December 23, 2004 - Thursday

Movies of 2004: my view
Current mood: okay
This was probably the year i spent the most money on going to the movies. Here is every movie that came out in 2004 that i saw.

Along Came Polly The Polar Express
Teacher's Pet Seed of Chucky
Tokyo Godfathers National Treasure
The Butterfly Effect Blade: Trinity
You Got Served Meet the Fockers
Catch That Kid Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Miracle Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocense
Eurotrip Godzilla: Final Wars
The Passion of The Christ Incredibles
Twisted
Hidalgo
Starsky & Hutch
Dawn of the Dead
Jersey Girl
The Ladykillers
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Hellboy
Home on the Range
Walking Tall
Shaolin Soccer
The Girl Next Door
Kill Bill Vol. 2
The Punisher
Man on Fire
Clifford's Really Big Movie
Envy
Van Helsing
Troy
Shrek 2
The Day After Tomorrow
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The Chronicles of Riddick
Garfield
Napoleon Dynamite
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
White Chicks
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
Spider-Man 2
Fahrenheit 9/11
Anchorman
I, Robot
A Day Without a Mexican
A Cinderella Story
I, Robot
The Bourne Supremacy
The Village
Collateral
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Alien vs Predator
Without a Paddle
Hero
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Shaun of the Dead
Shark Tale
Taxi
Team America: World Police


Thats a lot of shit i've seen. Now mind you i work in a movie theater, so i've seen most of these for free. But then again, there was a good portion of shit i've paid for. So here's my likes and dislikes for 2004.

Favorite Movies of 2004 (sans Life Aquatic, cause i have yet to see it)

1. The Incredibles
2. Spider-Man 2
3. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
4. Shaun of the Dead
5. Hellboy
6. Godzilla: Final Wars
7. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
8. Team America: World Police
9. Kill Bill Vol. 2
10. Jersey Girl
11. Anchorman
12. The Chronicles of Riddick
13. Man on Fire
14. Van Helsing
15. Walking Tall

Now here are movies that i feel are pure crap and a wast of time and money and i hope to god that they will be punished one day.

1. Resident Evil: Apocalypse
2. You Got Served
3. The Village
4. Alien vs. Predator
5. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
6. Teacher's Pet
7. A Cinderella Story
8. Home on the Range
9. Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
10. A Day without a Mexican

So there's my list of stuff i liked in this shitty year of 04. Here's hoping that 05 is much better.

This was me, PRE posting in the Zone. When I though people actually read my blogs.. and my love for some of those top 10 best of films have grown, or waned over the last few years.

December 23, 2004 - Thursday

December 23, 2004 - Thursday

My Dream Project pt. 1
Current mood: artistic
You know. We all dream. We all have that 1 or 4 things we want to do in our life before we die. Me. I have ALOT! well, not so much a lot, but a lot of big things. As most of you who know me know i want to make movies. Im going to get to it one day and hopefully i'll end up doing it for a career. But There are movies that if i ever make it in the industry, that i want to make. These are the movies i see in my head every day during the dregery of work. SO here they are! 1. Devilman- I was 15 when i first saw this anime. Its what started my obession with Obseanly Violent imagery. Its monsters Tearing the shit out of evey thing, and its OVERLY Violent, insanely bloody, and i think it would adapt incredibly well into Motion Picture. I would Follow the main storyline from the comic, and keep most of the charecter design form the anime. But i would add a little more gore to it though. Can never have enough sceens were a hoved demon rips off the demon breast of a demon chick. 2. Godzilla- This is mainly a childhood dream. I've grown up on Godzilla movies, there inbeeded into my brain. Im more than sure that my coffin with have Godzilla on it. So yeah, i have a story in mind, but i havent written nothing down. 3. Street Fighter- Ok. Probably the best fighting game ever. It has been made in to numerous Animes which rock some hard tasty abs. But the movie is just pitiful. Sure, when your like 11 its cool, but when you actually get older, it sucks ass. I would love to do a Street Fighter movie that Follows Ryu, and his exploits as he and Ken grive over the death of their master at the Hands of AKUMA who comes looking for them. Meanwhile, Chung Li and Guile track M. Bison, who in turn is looking for Ryu to add to his new soilder program, as Ryu had beaten Sagat in a street fighter tounament. Ryu and Bison have a showdown at the end were Akuma gets involved. It would have all the diffrent styles of fighting, all of the energy attacks, and alot of charecters, but not all of them. 4. He-Man- I love the original MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE movie with Dolf Lungdren, but i would like to make a He-Man movie that actually takes place on Enternia. It would have Orko, and all of the great mixture of Fantasy and Sci-Fi. Of course one would have to start of with Skeletor,as he is He-Man's arch nemisis, but i would also leave hints of the Snake Men and Hordak for future films. Yeah, so those are the movies i would love to make one day. But those are just properties that i think could be done great if i did them, or they were made once and would actually have been good if done right, which they obviously wernt. I do have a bunch of movies i hope to do one day that are original movies of my own. Now its just a matter of getting off my ass and doing something.

These are still dreams that want to come true. While has been a Devilman movie made, and now HE-MAN is getting made, I'm hoping that one day, if I manage to break into the industry, that I'll get a crack at these dream projects.

December 20, 2004 - Monday

December 20, 2004 - Monday

Directors Cuts are much better!
Current mood: disappointed
In the last couple of weeks, i've picked up a bunch of movies, a majority of them, the "UNRATED" Directors Cuts. Now i usually buy these because i would like to view the WHOLE film. And in some cases, such as Daredevil, were a good portion of the movie is compleatly changed around, it seems to be for the better. Now what the problem is that all of the people who put out these disks say that they prefre the Dir. Cuts because as a whole, it makes a more concinuse film. The other reason, because they couldnt put out an R rated cut in theaters or lose money or have to butcher the film for the MPAA. Which is why the film industry is tanking in my opnion. All of these films (with the exception of THE RETURN OF THE KING, for time issues) could have easily been put out in theaters. But apparently the gernal public dosnt want something thats good. HENCE why shit like Resident Evil 2 and You Got Served made a fuck load of money. Good Cinema is a dying art, making way for REMAKES no one asked for and more shitty adaptions of Books that should of never been written. Basicly, Hollywood sucks today

My inner geek started to sprout here. While I've always been a geek, the uber geek was rearing its ugly head. I've since tamed him and gained control of him. While I do tout alot of what's said here, I've also come to get annoyed with the UBER GEEK now a days.

December 19, 2004 - Sunday

December 19, 2004 - Sunday

Whats in my room.
Current mood: bored
I bet you were expecting me to answer PORN! Well, your at least 3% right. But the rest is random stuff. I have My DVD shelf, which is home to my many DVD's. On top of that is the home for my Violater, Tortured Souls and Pumpkinhead figures. They watch me sleep at night. Next to my computer desk is my Bed on the LEFT and on the Right, my display case, housing my small Godzilla figures and mic. Godzilla stuff. On top of that case, HULK KING KONG and ASH stand gard. Now with my bro back in the house, the crap from my old closet is now in my new room. So were my Book Case was is no a Large Dresser, but it holds no cloths. Insted the top shelf house my work and Mic. videos, like DINORIDERS and such. Under that is the Godzilla Darw, then the bottom draw is were i keep my autograph stuff i dont have on display. On top of that dresser is GAMERA and GODZILLA and my lamp. Then theres my Entertainment center, with my big OLD tv, under it, stuff with a power strip, Two cabnits holding Unopend action figures. Above the RIGHT cabinet is the first shelf, where i keep my play station. Above that is the VCR, than the top shelf is my WERE THE WILD THINGS ARE figures. ON top of said Entertainment center is a small shelf were i keep my "BEST" dvd's. On top of that shelf is Buddy Christ, Spiderman, Mt. Monstermore and Supersayian Goku and Broli. Spred across the rest of the top of the Entertainment center is DEVILMAN, his nemisis Ginmin, then the actuall NEMISIS from Resident EVIL then my Ray Huarryhousen figures. THEN in my NOOK, is my GODZILLA shelf, were i keep my percious BANDAI GODZILLA"S. Yep. Now, once i finish my room itll look nice and clean and have more shit hanging off of the walls. YEP IM BORED RIGHT NOW!

I haven't been in that room for almost 3 years now.

December 18, 2004 - Saturday

December 18, 2004 - Saturday

My Plans for this year FUCKERS!
Current mood: restless
So this upcoming year, 2005, I've been getting hurased by me ma and Gramps. They want me to be doning something with my life, LIKE WORKING A FULL TIME JOB. Which the only reason i can see is that they want me to have health insurance and work 40 hrs a week (WHICH I ABSOLUTLY REFUSE TO DO) which really pisses them off. No i have other plans besides becoming some sort of UBER ZOMBIE MONKEY FOR THE MAN. No i plan on a whole slew of things. 1. Finally film my Backyard wrestling movie. 2. Film a stop motion movie with my bro. 3. Go to Vegas on my 21st Bday and FUCKING DRINK AND GAMBLE UNTILL MY EYE"S BLEED! 4. Run more than 3 wrestling shows for my TV show. 5. Write at least 3 screenplays 6. Get laid. 7. Go on my yearly tip to MECCA (San Diego Comic Con) with my running crew and fuck some shit up in the coimc and geek world. 8. Get my car fixed. 9. Make a small movie, one thats full of hate and laughter. Basicly something to piss off a lot of people 10. Go to the movies more often 11.Beat the crap out of something that pisses me off. 12. Drop about 40 lbs. 13. Make a short movie that harkens back to the funk of the 70's. Maybe Funkula vs. Blackinstine. Maybe more, but thats my main goal for the year. SO lets see how much of it actually comes true.

Hum.. lets see. I was content at the theater at the time. Hell, any one would be if you could show up late everyday and not get fired. I was siphoning hours there, so I was making, what I thought, was big bucks at the time ($400 a check!!!!!!!!) and that things were good. Now I work a full time job, have health insurance, and I'm putting money away into savings, like an adult.

as for that list:
1) Never happened
2)Also Never happened
3) Happened, but I didn't get shit faced
4) Thats Backyard wrestling, and that did happen
5) .. some what happened, they were only partially finished, or stayed as treatments
6) yeah.. no...
7) Happened
8) Drove on shoddy breaks and suspension for another 7 months, finally got the damn car fixed...
9) Nope
10) Easy
11) Yeah right
12) ended up gaining 40 lbs
13) One day.. one day

December 18, 2004 - Saturday

December 18, 2004 - Saturday

GOD DAMN WEEK< FUCKING CHRISTMAS SPIRT MY ASS!
Current mood: pissed off
Well. This week has been a big fruit bowl of suck. HORRIBLE things have happend, this year sucks ass. AND ALL I WANTED TO DO THIS WEEK WAS PUT UP MY CHRISTMAS STUFF. AND THAT STILL HASNT HAPPEND. FUCK, i havent even finished christmas shopping yet. FUCK! Why cant life just cut some slack once in a while.

It was less than a week before Christmas, and my house hold hadn't even put up our tree yet. I'm a big lover of the Christmas season, and the last few years in this period, it seemed that everyone stopped giving a shit. It was all about spending money and dealing with family. I love getting together with my family on the holidays, and I love buying present for people than giving them. Last year, I went above and beyond on a shoestring budget to get people that perfect Christmas gift.

I think the anger was from the holiday hours at work and dealing with the fact that it was just me and one other dude working there at the time, so my hours were nuts.

December 15, 2004 - Wednesday

December 15, 2004 - Wednesday

I have WAY TOO MUCH SHIT.
Current mood: tired
Its about 5 am right now. I've been working on re-organizing my room since YESTERDAY (MONDAY!!!) (well, yesterday to me, as i have yet to head back to bed) Right now im about 50% done. I'm putting shit on the walls that i wanted to a while back, but now that i have the proper tools, i am. But i still have so much shit, that i really dont know what to do with. Theres a lot im just simply throwing out. Then theres the stuff im keeping to hawck on Ebay soon. But even still, i still have no room for the rest of the shit. What to do.I cant simply toss it all out, i dont have the right mind or heart for it (mind you i spent good money on a lot of this stuff) But i cant keep it all. My main problem is the amount of VHS cassets i have. TOO GODDAMN MANY. Most of it is probably shit i'll never watch again either. Right now im throwing away plastic sleeves. Tomarrow i have to head down to the comic store and pick up some comic boxes for the insane amount of comics i've bought in the last 6 months. Most of them i've looked at and i wont read anymore. So that shit will also go on Ebay. Though several good things have come of this. For instance, i have found several sheets of wrting i've done a long time ago that, once im done with this shit, i'll go back and rewrite, probably for more screenplays. Another thing is i've come across some stuff that i forgot i had. I've also found some rather sentimental things too. BUT i still have no room for this stuff. So now im off to try and compleate this daunting task. Wish me luck.

Oh, VHS tapes.. I had no were NEAR the amount then that I have of DVD's now! I do enjoy digging around every once in a while to see what I bother to keep!

December 9, 2004 - Thursday

December 9, 2004 - Thursday

CHRIS'S CHRISTMAS LIST! 2004 EDITION!
THIS IS ALL THE COOL SHIT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS! DVD'S: Van Helsing Bubba HoTep Pulp Fiction Hellboy: Directors Cut Sealab 2021 vol. 1 Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla Godzilla vs. Gigan Punisher Royal Tendanbalms Family Guy: vol.2 Batman: the animated series season 1 Jersey Girl Alive Toys: Invader Zim series 1 Family Guy wave 1 Mallrats @ Dogma Inaction Figures Games: Mega Man Anniversy Collection Godzilla: Save the earth Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 3 and last but not least 37x42 Poster Frames and thats it

My ego knows no bounds.....

November 13, 2004 - Saturday

November 13, 2004 - Saturday

I feel empty and Somewhat confused right now....
Current mood: nauseated

I feel as my child hood has just been raped in the ass. I just saw a commercial for Cerittos Auto Squar. They had decided to COMPTUER ANIMATE ERINIST P. WORRLE (aka Jim Varny)

and for those of you who dont know, Jim Varny passed away back in 2001.

Its an act against god and all that is good by what the ppl at CAS just did. The commercail lacked a soul and had some fucking horrible voice actor do THE WORST ERNEST IMPRESSION I HAVE EVER HERD.



I cannot sleep easy tonight

Ernest was a huge part of my childhood. When I saw that shitty ass CG Ernest on TV at 1:42 am on KTLA 5, I knew no greater out rage. It was as if they had dug up the man's body and shit in his skull.

The ads no longer run.. thank god.

And an editorial. Varney died in 2000, not 2001

November 13, 2004 - Saturday

November 13, 2004 - Saturday

Ohh you bastard. No, dont get mad, get use to losing.
Current mood: disappointed

Well, once again, I dont win a raffle/compitition. Iam I pissed. A little. Am I disapointed. Yes. But, like everything i try at, i have failed once again. But Hunter S. Thompson said best. Dont get mad, get use to losing.


And its true. I have lost again, and im getting use to it. Hurray.

I had entered an online contest to win tickets to go to the world premier of Ryuhei Kitamura's GODZILLA FINAL WARS, which was premiering in Hollywood. The fact that this event was happening not far from were I lived seemed like a dream come true. I found out this day that I didn't win tickets to get in. This was also the start of my love of FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS.

November 7, 2004 - Sunday

November 7, 2004 - Sunday

IM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: happy
As of this time, about 5:07 in the morning on the 7th of november, i have just finished my frist screenplay. It clocked in around 115 pages. All i have to do is spell check and give it a read through, then i can focus on actually making it.

I finished my first Screenplay. It could only be compared to doing a drug for the first time. The high I felt was uncompromisable to anything else. Sure, the screenplay sucks now, but at that time, I felt accomplished. I finally felt I did something with my life. I was planning on filming it, but it never came to fruition.

November 6, 2004 - Saturday

November 6, 2004 - Saturday

I have offically given up on finding a Girlfriend...
Its true. I dont really give a fuck anymore. I've tried EVERY OUTLET POSSIBLE, but i now belive that obviouly im either cursed, or GOD DOSE NOT WANT ME TO PROCREATE IN ANY WAY. Either way, i guess i'll just be a stedy loner for the most part of my life. Eh, it aint all that bad, as i've done it for 20 years now, i can do it for another 60. Hell, im only 10 pages away from finishing up my first full lenght screenplay. So i'll be putting what little time i waste trying to find a girl that would go out with me, and put it into other meaningless things as writing and sitting on my ass at home watching DVD's.

I was at a party, and was told by a girl that my personality is too weird for her. I asked a female friend of mine if this was true, and she laid it to me straight. Yeah. This was the first time I made this declaration, but at this point, it was more for attention. I still wanted a woman, as 20 year old me would of burned down a children hospital to get laid. Some of that has changed, and some hasn't.

November 5, 2004 - Friday

November 5, 2004 - Friday

This country can go FUCK IT"S SELF
My problem with this whole thing is that on what topic bush won on. the majority of people voted bush because of MORAL STANDARDS. Meaning they like the fact the Bush wants to end any hope of people of the same sex, who have sex with each other, NEVER get married. THIS IS WHAT THIS FUCKING COUNTRY IS SO GODDMAN HUNG UP OVER. GAY MARRIGE. FUCKING GAY MARRIGE No lets forget that Theres a GODDAMN MASSIVE CONFLICT GOING ON OVER SEAS AND PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING. NO lets for get the fact that Bush promised that he'd catch Bin Ladien within the year, but gave up after 6 months and FUCKING BOMBED IRAQ insted. And why, because they arnt comfortable with the idea of two fudge packers having the same basic rights as a regular married couple. I FUCKING HATE THIS GODDMAN COUTNRY. I CANT FUCKING STAND THE PEOPLE IN THIS FUCKED UP COUNTRY ANY MORE. AND THE THING IS I CANT FUCKING LEAVE IT BECAUSE I CANT AFFORD TO THANKS TO THE FACT THAT IF I WORKED FOR 4 FUCKING YEARS AT WALMART, i WOULD STILL NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO MOVE OUT OF THIS FUCKED UP COUTNRY BECAUSE IM PAYING THROUGH THE ASS ON TAX'S and TRYING TO AFFORD A CAR TO GET ME TO WORK. LIKE A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD A NAVY RECURTER, I'd Sell my soul to the japanese in a hart beat. If a war broke out today, im not fighing for either side. To fight for someone you dont know and DIDNT vote for, is idotic. I honestly dont belive in patriotism. All it is is foolish pride. Thats something this country needs to look at.

Trying to wrap my mind around how people could be dumb made my head hurt. It still dose. The fact that this day, the Gay Marriage thing is still a problem, in a POST BLACK PRESIDENT world, astounds me.

I've also made the proclamation that if the Japanese offered, I'd sell my soul to them.

November 3, 2004 - Wednesday

November 3, 2004 - Wednesday

AMERICA-ONE GIANT FUCKING IDIOT....
Theres a reason i didnt vote. For one, your vote dose not mean shit. This is probably why, AFTER MILLIONS were spent on trying to get these people to vote, the 18-21 group had the LOWEST turn out. What a fucking waste of money. Now. As i watched the Election coverage, and saw the number of popular votes as still HALF of the Country voted to keep BUSH in, I finally gave up hope on this country. This country is probably the BIGGEST PUSSY out there. No im not talking about our military, im talking about EVERYONE else. Everyone who voted for Bush felt that if he dosnt stay in office, that we're going to get bombed. Well, now you get what you reaped. By Keeping Bush in office, and the REPUBLICAN'S in charge of EVERYTHING now, shit's really going to hit the fan. Bush really has no reason to pander to the people anymore. The stemCell reserch bill that was just passed here in CA, well, that wont mean shit in about 8 months when they pass the bill to BAN stem Cell reserch. The other half of the country is just going to tell Bush to go to hell, which is going to cause a bunch of problems. Because for some reason, people feel that they're right and your wrong. Just look at what this Election campaign caused people to do. I mean fuck man, they were blasting each other over who they were supporting. Tearing up signs, and keying cars. And mark my words, I SMELL DRAFT. I dont belive for one fucking second that horse shit about "the draft isnt in the best interest of the country". Now, watch as theres going to be a bunch of fucking laws and shit made based on RELIGIOUS values. Anyway, this country gets what they deserve. We're all fucked anyway. IM not saying Kerry would have been much better, but fuck, the next 4 years are really going to suck ass. Bush so far isnt a great president what so ever. He just happend to be the moron in control when a major disaster happend.

This is were I lost faith in this country. I realized here that people for the most part, are not misinformed, they just make retarded decisions based on their retarded thoughts.

October 23, 2004 - Saturday

October 23, 2004 - Saturday

FUCK VOTING!!!!!!!!!
You know. I"ve seen all sorts of shit around about people saying "you have to vote. Thats the only way we can get change" Blah, fuckety blah. You know, i've heard nothing but shit from groups and people telling everyone (and ME) go out and FUCKING VOTE. But im not. The only time i ever voted was to get davis out of office and i voted for Arnold. And i might vote in the next Gov. Election, but for Presidental, its a wast of fucking time. All of these PSA say that your vote can change shit, get bush out of office. But.. Your Vote dosnt mean shit when it comes to electing a President. ELECTORAL COLLAGE PEOPLE!!! All one canidate needs to win is 3 of the major states (namely CA, NY, and i belive Illinoies, and any other is just extra) So if one state votes Dem. Then the Dem. Canidate gets all of the votes. Goes the same way if the State votes Rep. Ex. Last Election, GORE won the popular vote. But Bush ended up winning because of the FUCKING ELECTORAL COLLAGE AND THE GODDAMN SUPREME COURT. So untill the electoral collage is disbanded and the Gov. Lets the FUCKING PEOPLE decide who becomes people, i say fuck voting. Dont matter who wins, we're fucked anyway.

I remember in 12th grade government class, when my teacher taught us about the Electoral collage. I remember being completely outraged at the idea of a system that essentially votes for you. Even after being taught the full working intricacies of the system, I felt that there was no point in voting, at least in the presidential election. Years later, after I fully stopped caring about patriotism, and noticed that lots of laws that get passed don't honestly effect me, I took the advice of the late, great George Carlin and stopped bothering to vote all together.

I got this comment by a friend that made me laugh after the posting of this blog:

Fredi is Mighty Chucktaw


go ahead throw ur vote away i voted kodos

September 29, 2004 - Wednesday

September 29, 2004 - Wednesday

what to do.
I have sat in front of my comp for almost 4 hours. I've been chiping away at my screenplay for 3 and a half of those. I have to be up in several hours and have my hair alterd (cut) So why am i typing this shit rignt now. I dont fucking know. All i know is that im very tired, lonley and possibly going nuts as im seeing shit out of the corner of my eye right now. Like shit moving in my room. And if you have notcied my new Porfile pic, thats the only known descriptive sketch of the ZODIAC killer. A killer who claimed up to 37 people in the late 60's (only 7 are for sure though) but the thing with this guy is that 1. He got away with all of his killings, 2. He mocked the police after each killing, HE FRIGGIN called them only hours after his latest murder to tell the cops personally what he did 3. He was smart as fuck 4. HE HAS NEVER BEEN CAUGHT!!! I found this cat to be intriging. I dont know why, Maybe its because he fucked with the cops and still hasnt been caught. OR that he wore this FREAKY SUIT in one of his killings. Man thats FEAKY!!!!

I was writing a script based on my time (at the time, current time) as a backyard wrestler. I was quite proud of the finished product too. I wrote mostly from 11 pm to 5 am, as I didn't start work until 2 pm during this period. So I would work all day, then write all night. The script is still around somewhere, but its not really good as I look back at it.

Its also this around the time I developed a fascination with THE ZODIAC KILLER. Every boy fondly remembers his first serial killer obsession.. dont they?